Our Valentine's Day Treat

About Me:

I’m a law school graduate who is currently using my hard earned education to argue with reason with parent two little kids, wife to a great husband, mom to a two year old from Vietnam and a one year old from Ethiopia, friend, daughter, granddaughter, great granddaughter, and sister. I’m tired most of the time, worn out half the time, and look it all of the time.  I’m not a natural-born mommy, but I’m learning as I go. It appears that the learning curve is sometimes steep. Adoption was a first choice for us, race is a huge issue for us, and no, we don’t look like most families. I love my family and I love my life, even if I bitch incessantly once in a while.  

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That was the short version. Here’s the long:

Nearly two years after beginning our first adoption process in January of 2006, we brought our amazing son home from Vietnam in December 2007.  We weren’t anticipating his referral and were truly surprised in the best way possible. We waited nine months between referral and travel; that was the longest nine months of my entire life. We received Mattix’s referral on March 8th, 2007, and became his parents on December 10th, 2007.

I started this blog shortly after returning home to chronicle the ups and downs of adjusting to life with a baby adopted at almost one year old, particularly both the very difficult and the really great times.  Additionally, I am always learning so much about adoption from so many people - how important it is to look at this new life from our son’s perspective as an adoptee, rather than solely our perspective as adoptive parents – and I hope that by sharing my feelings, maybe others will find something helpful in all of my blathering. I  pray that I continue learning each and every day.

Our time in Vietnam was truly amazing. It sounds cheesy, but it was entirely life altering. For a few short weeks, we were able to experience a bit of the country that offered us an incredible gift. We loved every minute of our two weeks in Vietnam, even the tough times (hey, my husband had never even changed a diaper before we met our son and I hadn’t done it in ten years).  We loved our son before we even met him and we fell in love with his birth country shortly after arriving. Now we’re experiencing an entirely new journey while he gets to know us and begins to love us, too. It has been incredible so far!

In January of 2008, a month after bringing Mattix home, we updated our home study and put together a dossier for a second Vietnam adoption. However, given the instability of the program and our discomfort with the way things were going, we held onto it. In April, the announcement was made that Vietnam adoptions would close to the U.S. on September 1st.

We decided to begin our Ethiopian adoption in May, as we had unfortunately felt pretty certain Vietnam would close and had already researched agencies and the country. Our dossier, which I proudly completed in one week,  arrived in  Ethiopia on July 17, 2008. We received Molley’s referral on December 2nd, passed Ethiopian Court on March 6, 2009,  on our first try, and left the U.S. on April 2nd. We met and became Molley parents on April 7th, 2009.

We fell in love with Ethiopia in the same way we did with Vietnam. It is an incredible country, full of wonderful people and beautiful sights. We were very touched by the conditions under which many people live. We realized how much we take for grated in our daily lives, like clean water and medical care, and met many people who changed our lives. We were able to see different parts of Ethiopia and enjoyed all of our experiences immensely. In fact, we were heartbroken when it was time to leave. (We didn’t feel the same way about Dubai. At all. Didn’t mind leaving that place.)

Our second adoption experience also gave me a new, less jaded perspective on adoption and reminded me that there is a need and a place for it when all other options have been exhausted. I feel strongly about the agency we used for Molley’s adoption. Their in-country humanitarian work and commitment to older and “difficult-to-place” children is amazing, and in my opinion,  superior to that of most other agencies working in Ethiopia. I would be happy to provide you with an honest review of the agency, including the negatives. I would use them again in a heartbeat. Never thought I’d be able to say that about an adoption agency.

We’re adjusting to life as a family of four, living in two states, and trying to stay sane. I love the friends I’ve made through blogging and hope to maintain those relationship for the long term. I’ve been fortunate to meet many of them in real life.

I’ll post photos of Molley soon! I haven’t gone through our Ethiopia pics yet.

Ed, Mattix, and I just five days after returning from VN

A few photos from Vietnam: