Randoms

Ed brought me a dozen gerbera daisies today.  I LOVE gerbera daisies; I’m a gerbera daisy girl, not a rose girl, although I don’t object to the occasional dozen roses and I do love them, just not all the time.  He didn’t know my preference, but he brought me one single gerbera daisy on our first, um, official date (I’ll never tell you all about the other, um, unofficial dates). I knew then and there that things were going somewhere that I had no intention of them going!  I wasn’t looking for a long term relationship, but when it’s right, I guess it’s right. While I’m on the topic, how do you all feel about flowers? I LOVE flowers, but I think that too many, too often, defeats the thoughtfulness of them. I once dated someone who would bring me two dozen roses at least once a week. It got soooo old. It was almost embarrassing. I’m not ungrateful, but what the hell? (Never mind that he also smothered me in the relationship…we’re talking about flowers here.) 

Anyway, the point of my story is that when Mattix woke up from his nap and saw them, he asked me to let him sit on the table next to them. He studied them carefully for a minute, leaned over the smell them, and then announced, “Lots! Lots Monney’s hair bows!” Isn’t that so cute?! They do look like her hair flowers, and she does wear one every. single. day.

(BTW, if you want one (or SEVERAL, like us), check out Sarah and Kelley’s store, Shorty Bananas. They are fund raising for Sarah’s adoption, which is just awesome b/c I’m all about expanding our adoptive family of friends here! really happy for her family.  All of Molley’s hair flowers – with the exception of a single pink one b/c the pink one from Kelley suffered an untimely demise when Molley tossed it out of the car in SD and Ed ran over it, which presented an emergency situation that required a quick pink replacement – were purchased from Kelley and Sarah.  Molley gets SO many compliments everywhere we go b/c of the hair flowers. I’ve taken to wearing them in my dirty hair to distract from the filth, and so far, so good! I get compliments, too.

This is Matty last week. He has a tiny little toy set of airplanes and accessories we bought from him from Emirates Air on the way home from Ethiopia. He LOVES it. Just loves it. Because some of the pieces are so tiny, he has to sit at the counter to play with it so Molley doesn’t end up needing surgery to remove itty bitty pieces of luggage and itty bitty cones from her intestines. He was being goof ball, intentionally trying to make Molley laugh.

It worked; Molley thought he was funny! (Ignore the food all over her face; it was during breakfast.)

Sooo pretty!

This weekend, Kedra came over to hang out with our family (my parents included). The weather cooled down to a chilly 88 b/c of the wind, so we sat outside. Matty decided that he was going to feed Molley. It was just so precious. He even scraped the food off her face with the spoon after every bite like I do. What a sweetie. Things swung in a total opposite direction with Matty’s behavior toward Molley for about a month. He about did me in. It happened when Molley became very, very mobile and was into everything of his. Matty’s extremely meticulous and doesn’t love anybody messing with his things. He was super frustrated by her and acted out accordingly. Thank goodness that it only lasted a month and for the last three-ish weeks, he has been back to himself. He is back to being a normal, sweet big brother who occasionally is frustrated by his little sissy. That I can handle!

Ignore Kedra and me. We were post-several drinks tired.

Tonight, Ed picked up Playd0ugh for Matty. I’d last given him Playd0ugh when he was about 15 months old and wasn’t really into it. Tonight? He sat at the counter for almost TWO HOURS playing with it. OH MY GAWD, this stuff is better than Cars and Olivia and Gabba all rolled into one!!!!!!!

Molley drew with one of those little magnetic drawing board things. While she only lasted half an hour, I can’t complain. I mean, she’s only 11 months old.

Hasn’t her face really filled out? She’s a little human garbage disposal. She’ll hate me one day for writing that, but I swear, it’s the truth. She eats soooo much and it shows. I’m so proud of my little girl. She was so tiny and frail just 3.5 months ago, and now? Well, she certainly isn’t tiny and frail!

Speaking of progress, she has began doing a few more cute things, and a few not-so-cute, but good things. When she wakes up and I go into get her (into my room, because heaven forbid she sleep in her own room), as soon as she sees me, she yells, “HIIIIIIIIII!” with a huge smile on her face. Then she says, “Hi, mama!” It’s very sweet. I always say, “hiiii” – all drawn out in an obnoxiously high voice – to my kids right after they’ve woken up, so Molley has taken to beating me to the punch. I love it. 

As for the other things, well, she has really learned that we’re her bitches at her beck and call. Damn attachment parenting. It’s gotten sooo bad that I have decided to stop indulging everything. It’s almost silly. She can turn on those water works, make a ton of noise, and bawl her eyes out, then immediately shut it all off at the drop of a hat, which hat drops when she gets her way. We’ve passed the building trust part and moved squarely into manipulation! I’m working on finding the balance.

She is a huge climber. All over the place. She climbed up on the ottoman a few weeks ago. Mattix didn’t even bother to do that until he could walk, around 15 months old. He just didn’t care to climb anything like that. Explains why he has still not tried to climb out of the crib yet (knock on wood). Molley? Yeah, she’s going to be a problem! She’s a total spaz. She is super, super girly in some respects, all dainty and sweet, and in others, she is wild! She catches me off guard all of the time b/c Mattix is so meticulous and thinks through, whereas Molley is just all action. I think that’s why she drives him a little crazy. I love that I have two children that are equally amazing that have totally opposite personalities.

That’s all for today. Tomorrow I have sort of an important appointment. I’m a little excited, a little anxious. We’ll see how it goes and I’ll let you know.

On a lighter, more inappropriate note

Have you ever played that game where you google your first name, followed by the word “needs?” You’re supposed to write down the first ten search results. (It went around a long time ago.) The other day, I decided to play again, so I g00gled “Laura needs.” Mine were sort of funny, sort of boring

The first result: Laura needs your continued support

The second result: 25 cents and 2 fingers is all Laura needs

     – for the record, I may only need two fingers, but I’m gonna need a lot more than 25 cents.

The third result: Dirty Laura needs a wash

     – I’m going to leave that one alone.

And so on and so forth.

I got bored, so then I g00gled “Ed needs.” I was curious what the hubby needed, after all.

The first result: Ed needs a Hum!mer.

The second result: Ed needs a miracle.

Exactly.

(Swear on my life. G00gle Ed needs. You’ll see.)

When you lose the ability to be objective

First of all, before I get to what I want to say, we had a nice, albeit emotional,  weekend. On Saturday, we attended the memorial service for my grandma, who passed away about six weeks ago. It was just beautiful. It was of course sad and I cried a lot (kids have done this to me; in the past, I would have been able to hold it together), but it wasn’t depressing in the way that I think traditional, somber, dark funerals are depressing. Instead of focusing on death and loss, we focused on my grandma’s life and the remarkable things about her, both small and big. It was really beautiful, but she was a beautiful person inside and out, so it only made sense. Family and friends shared happy memories, there was an incredible video montage that had everyone in tears, and the flowers were gorgeous. 

My grandma was so beautiful, smart, had a great sense of humor, and was a true lady. I wish I could have it together half as well as she did…and she did it with four children. One day, when people see the photos of me during my life, they’re going to think, “Really? She couldn’t even wash her hair?” The photos of my grandma left all of us talking about how she was always dressed to the nines, looked impeccable, and was so together. Ha! She’s probably looking at me right now, wondering when I’m going to wash my hair!

All in all, while I felt incredibly sad to no longer have her in our lives, I felt fortunate to have had her for all the time we did. She will be greatly missed by many, many people.  I only wish my kids could have known her the way I did.

I have to brag on my kids a little. They were SO well behaved during the ceremony. It lasted an hour and they amazed me. We’d planned on having Ed take them out *when* it became necessary (vs. *if*), but that never happened. They were amazing. They were quiet for the most part, but did a few cute things. Mattix listened intently as my cousin read my grandma’s biography. My cousin said, “Eleanor Juliet was born in 1915…” and Mattix yelled, “1915!” in his cutest voice and threw his hands up in the air. He did it again when someone else said something that caught his interest. When they began the video montage, Molley literally JUMPED up (my mom was holding her) and started SHOUTING, “O-woo-wa! O-woo-wa!” That’s Olivia, by the way. She LOVES Olivia, so any time we turn on the TV, that’s what she yells. This was no exception. When Olivia didn’t come on, she began bouncing up and down and singing, “Up down, up down, up down. Ooooo” That, of course, is Mattix’s favorite song from Yo Gabba. She bounces up and down, sings, and dances to it, so I guess she figured if she couldn’t watch Olivia, she’d settle for Yo Gabba. Didn’t happen. What did happen was Matty’s narration. He watched the entire thing while chilling out in Ed’s lap. Anytime he saw a photo of Ed, Molley, my mom, my dad, my brother, or me, he’d yell out the person’s name. Too cute for words.

Today, my mom and I went to movies, lunch, and yogurt with a good friend of mine (who I’ve known for 16 years) and her mom. Saw The Ug!y Truth, which was funny, and had great conversation. Her family is going through a very hard, unfair time right now, and yet they are still such inspirational women. I love being around strong, intelligent women. It was a nice, long day (sand kids, thank goodness, because I NEEDED -needed, not wanted - a break).

And finally, tonight, Ed and I ran to Bar*nes N N0ble because we both needed new books to read. They have a train table and for some reason, it’s far superior to the train table we have IN OUR HOUSE. Mattix literally takes off running as soon as we set foot in the store, yelling “Choo choo!” until he makes it back to the train table. Both kids played for a long time. I met the most interesting woman who had seriously considered an adoption plan for her son, but ultimately chose to parent. I wish that ALL people who have an interest in adoption or an opinion on birth mothers could meet someone like her. She embodies what I try to explain to people who think all women who place their children for adoption in this country fit a certain mold. She’s the perfect example of what a “birth mother” often is in reality - intelligent, capable, overwhelmed. NOT a drug addict, NOT a prostitute, NOT a whore… Anyway, I’d like to write more about it later b/c I really enjoyed talking to her. And her child is an amazing little kid who is sweet and kind – a reflection of her parenting abilities and commitment to raising a good person.

——–

Okay, so, 850 words before I even made it to the point of my post.  I re-read last post I wrote and thought a lot about it. It’s apparent that, when it comes to my children, I have lost the ability to be completely, entirely objective about the important stuff. Had I written up my opinion on the two acts before Matty and Molley were in my life, it would have looked very different. It would have been more articulate, more analytical, and less emotional. The opinions would have been the same, but the emotion that my children evoke in me would have been absent. It would have been a more well-written, logical post.

I used to have one hell of an ability to analyze anything. Anything…even subject matter about which I held very strong opinions. Hand me something and I could read it, analyze it, and write up a nice, neat objective piece. I could analyze both sides. I could offer well-reasoned arguments from opposing perspectives. That’s what I used to do. Hell, I published several articles that did just that. Now? I can still do it, so long as the subject matter doesn’t involve my children.

At first I thought maybe motherhood has just made me stoopid. (yes, i spelled it incorrectly on purpose.) And while it has to some extent (I spend 16 hours a day with a two year old and a baby, changing diapers, making snacks, singing songs. I used to spend 16 hours a day reading, writing, analyzing, etc. It only makes sense that parts of my brain have become dormant!), I know that the real reason I couldn’t write something entirely objective is because my babies have changed me so much, changed so many things about me, that I can’t think about something that could affect them without thinking about how exactly it would affect them specifically. 

And maybe objective isn’t the correct word. I’m capable of being reasoned and fair. I mean, if my Matty hits another child and the child hits him back, I can be objective! But I can no longer do something so simple as analyze a piece of legislation without becoming quite emotionally thoughtful about the way in which it will affect my children – not children in genearl, but mine. If it were something that would affect me, for example, I could take the personal part out of the equation. But my kids? Not a chance. Is it just me???

I hope everyone had a nice weekend. I also hope it was cooler for you than it was for us! This heat is killing me slowly.

Love and Responsibility

Even with milk crusted on his face, he’s beautiful.

Look at my babies. How could I not love them? To know them is to love them. They are smart, funny, determined, full of life.

Without international adoption, I wouldn’t have them. I think it’s fair to say that I’m *very*  in favor of international adoption. In fact, assuming everything works out, we’re probably not finished adopting internationally. I love my children more than anything in the world and cannot imagine my life without them. Because of this, I feel a certain responsibility to do what’s best for them, not easiest for me.

Because I care about them, about international adoption, about their histories and their protection, I’ve spent a lot of time reading two pieces of legislation: The Families for Orphans Act (FFOA) and the Foreign Adopted Children Equality Act (FACE).  I’ve read the arguments both in support of and in opposition to each act. Ultimately, I’ve decided to contact the appropriate parties and express my opposition to both acts. To understand them, it is important to both read them and read about the potential consequences that could occur, should they pass. My hangups are actually rather small, but I think they are significant.

(I’m not explaining either Act because I am T.I.R.E.D, thanks to the little peanut who is not sleeping, so please read them here: H.R. 3070 (Families for Orphans Act) and S. 1359  and H.R. 3110 (FACE Act). They’re not long at all.)

The FACE act sounds great, especially  if you read it from a convenience standpoint. I’m not loving the fact that Molley is currently a legal alien; at least Mattix was able to come home and receive automatic citizenship, even if his legal name is still his full Vietnamese name and even if he doesn’t have a state birth certificate. (I’m waiting to readopt Matty until we readopt Molley b/c I’d like to do it on the same day, so neither of my children have a state-issued birth certificate yet.) (Because both Ed and I “saw” Mattix before he was legally adopted by us in his Vietnam, he traveled home on an IR-3Visa. Because Ethiopia’s court process is different and Molley legally became our child in ET four weeks before we met her, she traveled home on an IR-4 Visa. As a result, Mattix is a citizen and Molley is a legal alien until we complete her readoption.)

If the FACE Act would have been in place when we adopted Mattix and Molley, they would have both become U.S. citizens retroactive to the date of their births. We wouldn’t have to jump through the hoops or deal with the extra paperwork and expense of obtaining Visas, making Molley a citizen and getting both children U.S. passports and state  birth certificates.

Easier, right?

But that would be strange, don’t you think? Because, after all, they weren’t BORN IN THE U.S. My children were not born U.S. citizens. They were born in their home countries and were citizens of those countries before Ed and I were fortunate enough to meet them, call them our children and then take them from their birthplaces. To me, this is not about convenience and expense. If we are looking for more convenience and less expense, there are better ways to accomplish that than “pretending” on paper that my babies were U.S. citizens from the day they were born.

Because they weren’t.

They were not U.S. citizens when they were born. They were citizens of amazing countries. Countries that they will n to have the privilege of knowing nearly as well as they would have if Ed and I weren’t so fortunate to raise them.

Some proponents of the FACE Act repeatedly compare the process of adopting to the process of bringing “home” children born abroad to U.S. citizens – how those children don’t have to go through the steps that the children we adopt do to come to this country –  medical exams, Visas, new passports, vaccines (or vaccine waivers), etc. However, I still say that my children WERE NOT BORN to U.S. citizens. They were born to women who were citizens of other countries.  They’re treated differently before they come to this country because they ARE different. They are MY children now and I love them more than anything in the world, but they were not born to me and they were not born to a U.S. citizen.

It might sound like splitting hairs, and maybe it is, but it matters to me.  It matters that for ten months, Matty was a Vietnamese citizen and that for seven months, Molley was an Ethiopian citizen. And I hope it matters to them. I don’t know what their future feelings will be on their histories. I can only read about other adult adoptees’ experiences and keep in mind the myriad of possibilities. What I do know is that, at a minimum, I want them to have pride in their background. What kind of a message would it send if they were retroactively made U.S. citizens on the day of their births? If, because of convenience and cost savings (a slight savings, if you take into consideration the total cost of adoption), we declare all future “orphans” that we adopt U.S. citizens as of the date they enter this world, regrades of whether they come home at two weeks old, two months old, two years old?

Also at issue is the possibility that the act would affect the safeguards put in place by the Visa process that ensure the children are legally free for adoption. I know a lot of people, especially parents to Vietnamese children who experienced delays b/c of Visa investigations, have strongly held opinions on that. Believe it or not, I do, too, and we were in the first group of families to receive I-600 approval in Vietnam, which approval took a week.  That’s for another day and another time, but suffice it to say that the investigation process in Vietnam left me with many doubts. I just wanted to point out that there is more to the bill than what I wrote about above. Please read it in its entirely so that you can understand it and form your own opinions.

With regards to the Families for Orphans Act, I first want to say that I’m not *against* orphans. It’s a great title for the bill, don’t you think? Because if you don’t support it - if you’re not “for” orphans,  then by default, you’re against orphans, right?

But anyway, my big hangup is that it ties a (possibly) good program – one that supports child welfare – to international adoption. In order for countries to receive aid and other benefits from the U.S. under this plan, they must allow for international adoption. To me, that is just not okay. And yes, I’m for children. And yes, I’m for adoption, being an adoptive parent who might adopt again.  No, I don’t want children to grow up in orphanages or on the street. I don’t want to see children in sex or slave trade. I can think of few things worse than that.

The stated purposes of the bill are great and I would be in support,  but as a world superpower, as we obviously think we are, how can we ethically require countries to allow for our citizens to adopt their babies IF they want our money. I realize there’s no requirement for other countries to accept our “offer,” but said “offer” also includes provisions for debt and trade relief. It might be difficult to turn down such assistance for a country that desperately needs it, especially given the current economic climate. While the bill prioritizes family reunification, family preservation, and domestic adoption, realistically, I believe pressure , money and convenience can often lead to actions that are not in a child’s best interest.

Again, there’s more to this bill, so please read it, but this is my main issue.

I really encourage you to read each bill and contact the appropriate person and express your opinions, no matter what they are. As adoptive parents, we know how hard the process can be, but as adoptive parents, we also need to prioritize what really matters.

Nice!

We made it home on Monday in 5.5 hours, which I’m quite proud of (I realize you already know that if you’re on FB, but I’m really pleased). Yes, I was very proud of myself! That included a pit stop to change diapers and power feed Molley in the car seat. I just handed Matty his sammy bites and he was fine. I rule. Then I came home to 113 degree heat and wanted to turn around and drive another 5.5 hours back because GROSS. It was miserable. I’m pretty sure I had heat stroke by the time I finished unloading the car. Grandma took us out for ice cream to cool off and a monsoon hit, taking the temp from 113 to 83 in less than two hours. Thank goodness. It’s hot again, but we enjoyed a temporary reprieve. Mattix and Molley were SO cute at ice cream. They both had my mom and I laughing hysterically. People probably thought we were nuts, but I didn’t care. It was nice. I think I need to laugh like that again right about now.

For the last hour of the ride, I had the pleasure of listening to Matty say, “My beeeeeg (big) house, peeze!” every minute or so. Besides that being a little annoying, the kids were AWESOME. When we hit our neighborhood, Matty screamed, “MY BEEEEG house, Mommy! My BEEEEEG house!” I’m of the opinion that our normal sized house isn’t big, but I suppose when compared our apartment in Coronado, it seems huge a two year old.

We walked in, Mattix took one look his toys, and said, “NIIIIICE!” Swear. Isn’t that funny? Molley announced, “Toys!” Then the two of them proceeded to literally tear apart the downstairs in ten minutes flat before we moved upstairs so they could turn the loft in a pile of wreckage. Guess they missed their regular toys a little.  I cleaned up the down stairs toys, but you should see the loft. It literally looks like our house was tossed…total disaster. I’m so unmotivated that I just step over everything.

The kids are killing me right now b/c they’re taking turns waking up at 5:00 or 5:30 a.m. One gets up and the other sleeps until 8:00, then the next day, they switch. This is Day Four and I swear on my life, they’ve traded off every single day. I’d do anything for *both* of them to sleep until 6:00 or 6:30. Okay, I’d love 7:00, but I know that’s just a pipe dream. Anyway, I’m overtired and worn out. On a really positive note, both kids are napping right now – at the SAME time. That’s becoming a rarity these days.

I’m almost done with a post regarding some new legislation that affects international adoption. I’ll probably have it up tonight or tomorrow. If you haven’t looked into these two new pieces of legislation, I think it’s worth your time, regardless of your opinion on them.

Wednesday afternoon…two and half more days until the weekend begins!

Weekend recap – fun with the twins

I was able to watch Matty wake up from his nap yesterday. It was precious. He didn’t even realize I was in the room until he was completely awake, a process that took (and always takes) at least 20 minutes.  Molley snaps her little eyes open, smiles, and is ready for whatever might come her way. Matty? Not so much. He takes his sweet time waking up, but isn’t so happy to be awake, even after a full night’s sleep or a perfectly long nap. He initially began to stir, sat straight up, looked around, even looked at me but didn’t actually notice me, laid back down, closed his eyes for another five minutes in an effort to go back to sleep (after sleeping for almost two hours), gave up, tossed around, rolled onto his tummy with his booty in the air, found his empty bottle, sucked on it, decided that wasn’t working, tossed it out of the bed, grunted a lot, moaned a little, flopped around some more, then finally sat up. At that point, he rubbed his eyes and looked around the room again. Still didn’t see me. Laid back down. Repeated all of the above. Finally, after 20 solid minutes, he called for me, expecting me to come in from the other room. Instead, I said, “Hi, Baby!” He was so surprised to see me. That’s how out of it he is when he wakes up. I loved watching him for every second of the process. He is my little sweetie and everything about him makes me smile. This was no exception. I’ve watched him on the monitor plenty of times, but the screen is small and I can’t see all of his facial expressions clearly.

We had a great weekend. On Saturday, we took the twins and rode the ferry to San Diego and did a lot of walking around. Matty loved the ferry. He called it the big boat. I realized that the last time either of my kids was on a boat was in each of their home countries.

Matty rode several boats in Vietnam on our trip back from Kien Giang, the province where he was born, and again at the Mekong Delta. In fact, I thought both he and I were going to end up at the bottom of it during the Mekong Delta tourist trap tour:

And of course in Ethiopia, Molley, Ed and I rode the most rickety, tiny, old  little boat across Lake Awassa to see the hippos in the wild. I *really* thought we all might end up the bottom that time, esp. when the motor quit working, the boat took on enough water to require on of the two “tour guides” to bail, and the hippos got a little too close for comfort. And naturally, there were no life jackets. We were out in the middle of a huge lake. I didn’t panic, which is very unlike me, but I’ll admit to getting slightly nervous at one point.

(Yes, I know, I look *that* good. And yes, Molley is sporting boy’s clothes that we borrowed from our travel mates b/c she had a giardia blow out ON THE BOAT, in the middle of the lake, and we’d used up all fifty outfits we brought for the DAY.)

Seriously…I’m not exaggerating about the bailing water part

Looking through these photos makes me want to go back to both Ethiopia and Vietnam SO badly. I cannot wait until we can take both kids to both countries.

But anyway! Back to the present.

Mattix loved the ferry and Molley had a great time. She leaned over the side as much as she could and said, “Wa wa! Wa wa!” over and over with a huge smile on her face. Funny how a 20 minute ferry ride can thrill kids, huh? Even funnier how much thrilled kids can thrill their parents.

We all shared ice cream and Molley had a huge meltdown when it was gone. Like…huge. She has become quite the eater. We barely gave her any ice cream b/c of the lactose intolerance issue, but we gave her plenty of tiny little tastes. She has a HUGE preference for real people food (b/c no matter what you tell me, and no matter that I buy the Earth’s Be$t Organic, baby food ain’t people food), regardless of what it is. She will eat anything and a lot of it. In fact, today at a restaurant, the server was going over the daily specials and she looked up at him intently the entire time. He actually stopped to ask, “Is she really listening to me?” I think the answer was yes. It involved food. I couldn’t even list all of the thing she eats b/c she will literally eat anything I give her if it’s adult food. I’m pretty relaxed about what I feed my kids, with the exception of ground beef and shell fish. So, besides those two things, she’s pretty much eaten anything we’ve eaten over the past month. If I open the refrigerator, she begins making her “feed me now” sound. If Same thing if I open a cupboard. Insane.

Matty’s fav part of Sea Port Village was not the ice cream, but rather the kite shop. Specifically, the lawn spinners outside of the kite shop. He was captivated and we couldn’t drag him away. So, we just took pics instead.

Mattix also found a lot of little walls on which to play with his “big guck guck” (big truck), “traker” (trailer), and backhoe.

Today, Ed an I took our twins to the zoo. My opinion of the zoo just increased tenfold, as we found a restaurant that serves beer and cocktails. As I said on faceskank, the zoo is a lot more fun after consuming three goose and tonics…or so I’ve heard. It was hot, though! If I did consume a few cocktails, I sweated them out by the time we left. We used to git up the SD Zoo for exercise b/c it’s hilly (I know that’s not a really word)  and we’d power walk it. Way more effective with two kids and a heavy stroller.

Mattix had his first Shirley Temple at the restaurant. It was a huge hit!

Molley enjoyed the bread.

Mattix is really into putting things on his head and making a hat. Today, it was the napkin. He threw it up there, announced, “HAT!” really loudly, and cracked up. He had the table next to us laughing really hard.

Molley was hilarious. She was certain most of animals were dogs, and specifically, Gidget. She was just tickled to get out of the stroller and see all of the Gidgets.

Mattix was really into the ducks (first one below) and the Fa-mingos (second one). He wouldn’t leave the Flamingo exhibit for almost half an hour.

Doing the Squat in front of the ducks. Love the diaper.

For the past few months, Matty’s favorite place ever is Daddy’s shoulders. He demands, “Sit Daddy’s Sho-ders, peeze!”

Both kids loved the sky rides. They’ve ridden them several times at different places. They both like to hold onto Ed and I and get a little insecure when they look over the edge. Sweet.

Had enough photos???

Tonight we got the babies in bed by 7:45. Woo hoo! We started at 7:15 and they were both out in half an hour. I know that sound late to a lot of people, and I wish it were for us, too, but my kids are late-to-bed and early-to-rise kiddos. They’re usually asleep by 9:00 and up by or well before  6:00, although twice this week, they slept in until almost 7:00.  I’d love it if they’d sleep late. I’d even take it if they went to bed early and still got up early. But not so much. I’ve been doing a good job of getting to bed by midnight so that I get about six hours of sleep. I need a few hours of quiet time every night and b/c it’s usually 9:00 before they’re both asleep, I can’t unwind until midnight at the earliest.  Anyway, I was happy to have a quiet dinner with Ed tonight, who made a yummy caprese salad, using home grown organic tomatoes that the owner of the building where we’re renting this place brought to us the other day. Yummy!

Looonnnnggg drive tomorrow. Good times.  Not really looking forward to the 116 degree heat, either, but I’m missing my house, my friends and my mom, even though she just left three days ago.

Well, that was a first…and hopefully a last. (And P.S., my kids aren’t twins. So I guess two firsts.)

My children bring all sorts of attention when we’re out. Most of it, of course, is because they are both freaking adorable and Mattix is hilarious. Obviously! Then there’s the attention that comes from people who haven’t ev-er seen a family that isn’t all the same race (gasp!)…or at least they act that way. And of course, rarely, there’s the very negative attention from hateful, ugly, bad people who disapprove of our family.

But today?

We have a first, folks.

I was hit on BECAUSE of my kids.

I was running errands and, once again (I’ll never learn), made the mistake of stopping in Wa!m@rt. It was in a neighborhood we don’t generally hit up and the looks and comments today were too much. I just ignored everything, kept my head down (b/c Kelley reminds me that I look too nice, which is of course deceiving, but I’ve really been working on that), focused on Matty and Molley in the cart, and kept going. I overheard a lot, but nobody had said a word *to* me.

Then it happened. I could feel him staring at me before I even saw him. And then the DBag spoke: “Hey there! Are those your babies?” I saved my usual, “Why do you ask?” response because I didn’t want him to tell me why he was asking. It was already obvious. I said, “mmm hmm” and kept walking. He said, “Wait! Both of them?” So I said it again and that’s when he said it. He gave me the Chandler nod (from Friends) and said, “Heeeyyyy.”

I stopped my cart and turned to face him  because WTF? First of all, I wear my engagement ring and wedding band and any a$$hole can take a quick inventory and secondly, I knew exactly why he was hitting on me.

I was all, “Seriously?” in my usual sarcastic, this-isn’t-an-invitation-to-keep-being-a-douche voice and he was all, “Yeah. Heeeyyyy…” and gave me the up-and-down scan.

OMG. So I was all, “You’ve gotta be freaking kidding me,” gave him my best dirty look, which I have to say is pretty damn dirty these days, and kept walking.

He wasn’t done, by they way. He was still trying as I walked away.

For anyone who didn’t catch it b/c it’s probably not as easy without actually being there, although my mom got it right away when I called her to throw up on the way home, and if my mom, who is the most naive person ever born, catches it, it’s obvious,  I knew he was hitting on me b/c I have two kids, close in age, that are of different races. And so that must make me, what, ready for action? He assumed they were my bio kids. And clearly,  because I’m one race and my kids are different races from both me and each other, I must be readily available for anyone.

GROSS. And ignorant. Really, really ignorant.

As if my self esteem wasn’t damaged enough, now I know that the best way to get hit on – ’cause  that’s what I like to do –  is to take my kids out and look for guys who are clearly looking for what they think are easy lays. Did I mention GROSS yet?

—

And then our day got even stranger. Ed, the kids, and I walked a few blocks to the bay to eat dinner. Afterward – okay, toward the end, b/c we finished dinner drinks - Molley had a pee-through and Matty had a blow out. Good times. After *I* got both of them changed b/c the sexist a$$holes didn’t put a changing table in the men’s bathroom (and what, I ask, is one supposed to do in a single dad, only dad out at the time, or two dad situation?), I walked out and set Matty down. A woman walked up, looked at both kids, commented on how cute they were, and I SWEAR ON MY LIFE, said…now wait for this…

“Now are they twins?”

The glass three glasses of wine I had at dinner (told you I was gonna drink those calories)  made it impossible for me not to lose my $hit laughing. I didn’t even have a smart remark. For real? Ed and I are Caucasian and we’re sitting here with an Asian child and an African baby who are 18 months, ten pounds, and five inches apart and you just asked me if they were twins?!?!

Today was one strange day.

I’m not leaving the house again.

———–

Molley started crawling “NORMALLY” today. Nice, huh? That’s Ed’s word, not mine! However, the point is that she got up on all fours and began crawling that way. I’m really happy about that, as I’ve read a lot of research that indicates it’s an important developmental step and skipping it is often connected with later “issues.” Who knows how that really plays out, b/c I can come up with “research” to prove just about anything, but still, it makes Mommy Laura feel reassured.

What is up with the tongue???? I swear, right now, 80% of our pics of Molley look like this. And the best part is she taught Matty this little trick, which means he runs around all day with his freaking tongue hanging out. I’m afraid he’s going to fall and bite it off.

Drooling Queen!

Mattix used to do the Elephant Walk…he was doing it as soon as he came home from VN, which was right at Molley’s current age. Today, she made a valiant effort. It didn’t work out, but I loved it!

Molley and her new Baby! She loves to kiss her.

A Conversation with a Two Year Old

Mattix: “Mommy, hep me, peeze!”

(Mattix hands me his truck and trailer; wants help disconnecting the trailer)

Me: “Okay, Matty. I’ll take it apart.”

Mattix: “No, Mommy! My do it! My do it!”

(I hand the truck back to him.)

(Mattix tries to take it apart. I wait patiently. He can’t get it.)

Me: “Mattix, do you want me to help you?”

Mattix: “NO MOMMY. My doin’ it!”

(Mattix shoves the truck at me.)

Mattix: “Mommy, hep me, peeze!”

Me: “Are you sure? You really want ME to take it apart?”

(Mattix acts as though that’s the dumbest question he has ever heard in his entire life.)

Mattix: “Mommy! Hep me! My traker (translation: trailer)- apart! Peeze!”

(I take it apart.)

Mattix: “Tank too, Mommy!”

(Mattix puts it back together.)

Mattix: “My fix it!”

 

Seriously, are all two year olds bipolar? Or is it just mine?!

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I’m about two weeks behind with emails. If I owe you an email (read: if I still need to *read* an email you sent me b/c I’m that behind), give me a few more days. I’ll get there!

What to say?

We’re just busy. We’re having fun, but I’m worn out. My mom and I had a great time in Laguna. I missed my kids, but I’m not going to lie. It was AWESOME to get away for exaclty 45 hours. I sort of wish it were double that. Molley was thrilled to see me when I came back…Matty was pi$$ed. I was surprised and expected the opposite. He hasn’t acted that way in a long time, although I don’t just regularly leave him. And after two weeks away for our Ethiopia trip, I think he was so thrilled that we came home that he didn’t bother with the mad part.

BTW, my mom and I go to Laguna every summer for the Pageant of the Masters. My mom’s an artist and it’s right up her alley, but for anyone who might be interested, I have the artistic talent of a two year old and I enjoy it very much. It’s pretty awesome and worth seeing at least once (or every year). It’s funny how the trip shorters every year based on how many kids I have! When we had none, it was five or more days, wtih Matty it was three, and now, it’s less than two. Isn’t that how life works?

Today, my mom, the kids, and I spent the day at Sea World. What started out as a two or three hour outing turned into a seven hour day. Looonnnnggg day for a two year old and a ten month old…and two adults…but they had a great time and so did we.  Mattix is so interested in the animals. He could spend hours at each exhibit where he’s able to get really close if we let him. I thought he’d totally be into feeding the sea lions b/c he LOVES them. He reached into the cup for the nasty little dead fish and grabbed a tail. Then he spotted the eyes! He dropped it and yelled, “EYES!!!! NO!!!!” and was totally freaked out. He wouldn’t have any of it. He told me it was my turn every time I tried to get him to take a fish to feed to the Sea Lions. Lucky me. Grandma spent $6 so my 29 year old a$$ could fee the Sea Lions. The kid will charge head first into the ocean, which he did last night on our two hour beach walk (where I collected AWESOME shells and threw back lots of star fish and other live animals), but goodness forbid he touch a two inch dead fish.

We’re in sort of a werid place right now. This is our lives for the time being, but it doesn’t quite feel like real life. There’s plenty of stress to go around – trust me…plenty – but the kids an I are also doing a lot of fun stuff. Leg0land and Di$ney!and are in the near future, we hit up the zoo and Sea W0rld fairly regularly, and we go on beach walks every night. But we’re sort of unsettled.  It’s hard to explain. It stresses me out if I think about it too much.

Other than that, Molley is developmentally aging about one week for every actual day. She has added so many words to her vocabulary that I can’t list them all. Today, on the sky ride, she started yelling, “Balloons! Balloons!” when she saw hot air balloons.  She named the bears, the whales, and one other animal after I told her what they were. She now points to something when she wants to know what it is. She retains much of what I tell her. Molley is also getting an attitude to boot! My mom told her “no” today b/c she leaned over and pinched Matty for fun. Or payback. She got the most RIDICULOUS, over the top pouty look on her face, then gave my mom The Stink Eye. And then, just to seal the deal, she broke into a totally fake cry, complete with tears. What a character. She’s still sweet as ever, though. Just incredibly loving and affectionate. Her mobility increases every day. She army crawls SO fast that it’s funny to watch. She also cruises quite quickly around the furntiure, between furniture, etc.  I’m truly in awe over how well she is doing developmentally.  She started feeding herself last month and now she wants to eat all adult food. She can more or less eat just about anything, but I still make her eat at least one jar of baby food with each meal. She is smart and watches everything VERY carefully. I think I might be in trouble with her b/c she mimicks everything I do. No more flipping off other drivers. Just kidding! (I’ll still flip them off. He he.(

Mattix is his normal cute self. He’s been acting out a bit when Molley messes with his toys. He is very tired of her being into his stuff. I do understand his frustration, but it’s hard. Today, I had my back turned when Molley started crying. I turned around to find her quite close to Matty and that look on Matty’s face. The good news is that he doesn’t know how to lie yet! I asked him what happened and he launched into an elaborate, broken explanation about how Molley touched his truck and how his truck truck backed up and how the tires then ran over her hands…repeatedly…and how she cried b/c of the “owie.” So, the bad news is that Molley’s being beaten with Matty’s toys. The good news is that he’s painfully honest about it.

I’ll try to remember a camera tomorrow. I took one to Laguna, which was just beautiful, and thought about it today, but I’m honestly too busy with the littles and too tired to deal with it right now. I know Matty and Molley are almost 18 months apart, but right now, I feel like I’m never going to have a calm minute when I have both of them. And I’m talking about a third. Ha!

I also have a “real” post – one that contains something other than my incoherent rambling about my kids – in my draft box. One day, it will be finished and posted. Until then, my brain rot continues to show. What can I say? Payback for talking about how I’d never be a mom who had nothing but mindless crap to ramble about.

A few leftovers…

molley at the park, july 5th

matty, enjoying his first ever s’more last month on our cabin camping adventure. i think he liked it. (yes, i did buy matty camo sweats specifically for this trip.)

We had a great day today. We didn’t do anything particularly exciting, but spent it outside and just had a good time. Both Matty and Molley woke up in awesome moods. They were also incredible on the 6.5 hour drive yesterday. Sometimes they wake up the next day a little cranky, but not today. Molley is always super loving and sweet, but I swear, today she woke up full of extra love and affection. I couldn’t even begin to count the number of hugs and kisses we all got. Even the dog was showered with love.

Matty was hilarious. We were wandering around the shops we wander every once in a while. As soon as we got close, Mattix remembered the toy shop. He started yelling, “My play toys! My play toys!” My mom and I were stuck in there for.ev.er with him while poor Ed hung out outside with Molley and the dog.  When I decided it was time to go, he told me, “My not comin’. Bye, Mommy!” I walked out and watched him through the window, and sure enough, he wasn’t kidding; he was not coming! He couldn’t see me, either. He was clearly uneasy and kept looking around, but the pull of the toy store was just too strong. Usually when I tell him I’m leaving and he can either come with me or stay, he’s two inches behind me, yelling, “MY COMIN’, MOMMY! WAIT!” Note to self: this doesn’t work at the toy store.

Leave it to Grandma to tell him he could pick out a few small motorcycles and trucks. He picked out two, then we got in line to buy them. That’s when he saw the big trucks/cars/motorcycles, etc. He picked one out, brought it over and said, “My want this one, MaMaw!” He then pointed to the other two and said, “Back, peeze.” My mom said, “Matty, you can have these or just that one ,” and he said, “No two. Put back. My have this one.” He totally traded in the two smaller toys for one big one. Smart kid!

He’s been bargaining with me lately and he totally used his skillz to work my mom today. Lately, Matty will ask for something and I’ll say okay (e.g., a cracker), then then he’ll say, “My have two, peeze” and I’ll say, “You can have one, Matty” then he’ll say, “My have tree (that’s how he pronounces it), peeze” and I’ll say, “Okay, you can have two.” And he gets two. The kid is good!

One other thing I forgot to mention. Mattix has been very, very grateful for a long time. Meaning, if someone gives him something he really likes, even if it’s something really small and insignificant (like a cup of juice), he says, “Tank too, Mommy (or whoever)!” all drawn out with a huge smile on his face. He is SO sincere when he does this. However, for the past three weeks, it’s like he totally forgot his manners and would just snatch whatever I or anyone handed him. Then, the other day, they reappeared and he’s back to being sincere and appreciative. I love it b/c his voice is just so precious and the look on his face is too sweet for words.

He has also started asking for things he knows he can’t have. For example, he’s really into birds. When one gets near him, he gets really excited and yells, “Bird!” So far, he can distinguish a pigeon and a sparrow. I think I only know like five birds, so he’s about maxed out on bird knowledge, or at least any knowledge he’ll get from me. Ha ha. Anyway, he always says, “My have it, bird, peeze!” as if I could hand him the bird. He said it about all kinds of giant animals at the zoo, too, and he’s entirely genuine. “My have it, epepant, peeze” and “My have it, zeeba, peeze.” Where do they come up with this stuff?

He really is very clever. A few weeks ago, Molley accidentally poked him in the eye really hard. He cried and cried. Ed asked him what would make it better and Matty just kept crying (this was after all of the “I’ll kiss it better” and distraction tactics). Finally, he pulled a piece of chocolate out of the fridge (obviously, I didn’t know about it or it wouldn’t have existed) and gave it to Matty. The next day, after I got Matty out of his crib from his nap, he said, in a tiny little sweet voice, “Mommy, my owie!” I asked him what hurt, and he quickly came up with, “My owie, knee.” I kissed it and asked if it was better. He said, “No! Owie” So I rubbed it and asked if that helped. He said, “No, Mommy! My owie, knee” Then he got this tiny little smile on his face, looked at me with his head cocked, and said, “Chock-eet.” Seriously, he made up an owie to get chocolate. It was so cute that I almost gave in!

He is really into singing a few songs over and over, including The Itsy Bitsy Spider, complete with hand motions, and a few favs from Yo Gaba. Today, I caught him sitting over Molley, singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider to her and helping her with the hand motions. Love it.

Oh, while I’m going on and on, Mattix now jumps up and down sometimes when he’s not getting his way. It’s hilarious. It’s not a normal jump – he sort of holds his hands out in front him, half bends at the waist, and jumps. It’s really, really hard not to laugh. Today, he started to throw a little fit and my mom laughed so hard. She really tried to keep it in, but she couldn’t help it. She even tried to turn around so Matty wouldn’t see, but it was a total failure. The best part was that Matty stopped, paused for a minute with a really deep-in-thought look on his face, then cracked up!

I guess this turned into a Matty progress update, huh?

My mom and I are heading to Laguna Beach tomorrow for our annual trip, although this one will be far shorter than ones in the past, thanks to being the mom to two kids, one of them home for three months! How’s this for a little honesty: I will miss my kids a ton, but I am SO excited to get away for two nights and get a little rest!!!!  I’m going to sleep through the night. Woo hoo! It’s like my ultimate fantasy come true. Uninterrupted sleep. Oh yeah, and I’m excited for all of the fun we’re going to have, too.