So this is pretty much how it has gone down…

…we’re here. We’re  mostly settled in.

Did you guys know it’s possible for you freaking a$$ to fall asleep? If you didn’t know that, now you do. It’s totally possible. My giant a$$ is totally numb. Top to bottom (that’s a lot of area, people). Numb. But the hurt kind of numb.

(Is there a good kind of numb? I realized that sounds weird after I typed it. All I know is that it doesn’t feel good.)

Needless to say, the furniture comes tomorrow. I’m sitting on the floor.

My Cra*ig’s List skillz amaze me. I rule. Thanks to my abilities, this whole place will be furnished tomorrow afternoon.

Cable’s on, wireless internet’s functioning, phone works, everything we brought, which was packed into one SUV and one sedan, is in its place. Met some neighbors. Ate dinner at our old favorite place…the one we used to frequent BK (before kids) when we lived here.

I was ready to hit the local dive bar when Ed reminded me that the two little people might not think it was so neat. Oh yeeeaaaahhhhhh….so my life has changed since law school.

I’m pretty sure Ed enjoyed all seven hours on the way over here. Me? Hmmm… Okay, I can’t complain. Molley slept most of the time. Matty only melted down once, and that was when I mistakenly reached into the mini cooler and handed him a bottle of Molley’s formula instead of his milk. As soon as I handed it to him, he announced, “No, Mommy, Monney’s milk!” I insisted it was his (I was trying to drive 80 mph…throw me a bone.) He freaked out, chucked the ba-ba, then yelled, “Gross! Monney’s Milk! Gross! Mommy…my milk! Peeze!” Oh, and once more when Cars (Disney movie) ended. But other than that? My kids are f’ing amazing. They rule when it comes to travel. Matty handled 25 plane rides during his first 10 months with us. Now we’re onto the endless car rides (b/c I’m sorry, but I’m not doing the plane thing alone with two littles, regardless of the fact that the cost factor is equal). Matty is awesome. And Molley? She passes out as soon as the car starts moving. At one point, I asked Matty to check and see if she was still breathing.

But that’s not what you care about, is it? You wanna know how “it” went down, right?

Ed: Dude, stop messing with my bachelor pad. The kids’ toys are totally cramping my style.

Me: Then the tampons that I’m going to strategically place all over this place are really going to screw things up, huh?

Ed: Seriously?

Me: Seriously?

Ed: No.

Me: That’s right, b*itch. And P.S. if you f^ck up the perfectly arranged cans and hand towels, I’m totally going to come back here four days after we leave (’cause, yeah, the kids and I are driving home for four days) and I’m going to beat the $shit out of you. But then I’m going to bring you flowers and make passionate love to you b/c I’m going to feel sort of bad about it, but then if you fake a drowning, I’m gonna find you, motherf*cker, and your mom’s gonna get it.

Ed: Promise?

Me: Okay, scratch the last part. I’m gonna find you.

Ed: Yeah, I know you’d find me. My friends call you Colombo.

Me: What the hell? Are you serious? Your friends a$$holes. Wait, are these the friends that are still single?

Ed: Maybe.

Me: Mmmkay. Well, that’s all I have to say about that.

Ed: I know

Me: Oh, and tell them to suck it. That Colombo thing is thanks to the $150,000 education that I’m now using to expertly wipe my kids’ a$$es. It obviously wasn’t for nothing, obviously. I mean, I’m a career woman, okay?

Ed: Good point. Sure.

Me: Whatever. Stop trying to distract me. If those cans of organic mandarin oranges in light syrup are so much as turned one quarter to the south, you’re gonna catch the beating of a lifetime.

Ed: Dude. My bachelor pad is so womanized.

Me: Never mind the toddler bed and pack n’ play that house your two children.

Speaking of which, Matty Bug fell asleep in his toddler bed for the first time ever. *TEAR* I’m still sad!!!! He is growing up sooo much. We’ve made a big deal out of his “Big Boy Bed” in his “Tan Tiego house!” I bought him a toddler bed for this place. I wanted him to get excited about it and make it special.  He was sooo stoked b/c I put Cars bedding on his toddler bed. Cars is his current OBSESSION. He has been anticipating this for almost two weeks.  He literally climbed right in, got under the covers, and passed out. This is SO not my baby. He is the craziest sleeper ever. He usually tosses and throws himself around his crib at least 20 times before falling sleep and cannot keep a blanket on his little body to save his life. Is he really getting this big? So sad. I don’t care what happens. At home, he’s still my baby and he’s sleeping in his crib.

(Okay, and the fact that he cannot get out at home might be appealing. This place is one quarter the size of our house (and one story). I don’t wanna play that game at home.)

No photos. I’m that tired. One day, I’ll catch up. It doesn’t help that my thyroid pulled another “F you” like it did after Matty came home. Totally not responding to my meds. I’ve had this for 12 years. Come on.  This is 80% of the reason I went to fat after Matty came home. So far, since Molley came home, I’m plus five. I NEED a break – I’m exhausted and my a$$ is huge. Come on, universe, throw me a bone. A la Roger, I’m putting it out there (even though I think The Se*cret is the biggest load of bull$hit EVER, esp. the medical parts). I’m desperate. Thyroid meds take 6-12 weeks to catch up, so I’ll try anything.

Night.

I need a vacation after our vacation!

At least that’s how I feel right now! We spent the week in the middle of nowhere. It is BEAUTIFUL. This is what I woke up to every morning:

Yeah, that’s the view from the deck of the “cabins” (loose term – I’ll explain later). It was amazing and beautiful and relaxing. No phones – lieterally, none, b/c there’s no cell phone service within two hours of where we were, no internet, no television. It’s on Native American Reservation Land with very few people and it’s just so pristine. Nothing like it! We went with my parents, my little brother and his new girlfriend. Good, quality family time. We hiked all over the place, played games, talked, drank wine, and had a great time. This is where we went every year when I was a child (although back then, we did the motor home thing) up until I was about 13, and this is our third year here again as a family now that I’m an adult. It’s going to be an annual trip for us b/c it’s that enjoyable. It is hard for me to believe this place is still in our state b/c it is just so gorgeous there. The “cabins” are rough! Really, really rough. It’s so remote that the entire place is closed for nine months of the year and the road is inaccessible, except by snowmobile, for a good five or so months. During the off season, they literally board up the two cabins for nine months. So, use your imagination. These are not five star resorts! Okay, they’re hanging on by a thread, but they’re still standing. I’m not a rough-it sorta girl and I’ll admit that camping ain’t my thang. Does that tell you how awesome this place is? Enough to motivate me to suck it up.

Unfortunately, Molley didn’t get the whole “rest up” memo and felt it was necessary to get up with the sun every freaking day. FYI, the sun came up around 4:15 a.m. Awesome. She didn’t sleep the best at night, either, although a little Liquid Gold helped the nighttime part on the last two nights. Um, yeah, she had allergies. Yeah, that’s it. Too bad we didn’t realize she had, um, allergies beginning on the first night. Getting up at 4:15 is bad enough, but it really sucks after being woken up all night. It’s a little more bearable if the preceding five hours are peaceful.

Mattix was in boy heaven! He LOVED every second of our trip. From the moment his eyes opened in the morning until he moment he passed out at night, he was busy and loving it. He played endlessly in the dirt, with his trucks, in the lake. He has never gotten so dirty in his life. By the end of every day, he had about six inches of dirt caked on every part of his body and clothing that had to be scraped off in the “shower.” He also learned to fish, which was adorable. I have some of the cutest video ever…cute enough to motivate me to learn how to upload it.

There’s a whole lot more, including tons of photos, but I’m too beat up. We came home late Friday night and we’re leaving in less than six hours to make the drive to California so we can get the apartment set up. Good times. Seriously, did I mention I’m exhausted? I counted the loads of laundry I’ve done since coming home Friday night, and the grand total is 16. Sixteen.  I’m over it.

If I’m still standing by the time we get to CA and unload, I’ll put up the photos tomorrow. Wish us luck – we’ve been home for two days after a seven hour drive with the kids and we’re going to be stuck in the car for another seven hours tomorrow. Actually, I’m going to be stuck in the car with the kids. Ed’s going to drive in peace, alone.

I’m working on blogs. I’m down to about 200 posts in Reader, which isn’t too bad. I’ll be back to zero by the end of the week. Happy Monday!

Just too busy

Life has been a little too hectic lately. I realized today that I haven’t taken photos of either little in weeks. I certainly have no photographic talent, but I like to have lots of pics of the kids. During Matty’s first six months home, I swear I never put the camera away. I guess that’s the difference between the first and the second, huh?

We’re going to get tons of photos this week, though. I’m very excited and cannot wait. I realized that I have two sets of photos to share that I never put up. First, these are of Matty and Molley from May 14th, when Ed was out front doing yard work (which the HOA’slandscapers are supposed to do, thanks to their $120,000 per year contract with the HOA for our neighborhood, but that they never do, so anyway…)

A few thoughts. First, it’s amazing how well Molley is doing! I just realized that she still sotra sat like a tripod just five and a half weeks ago when we took these photos. Now, she has great ab muscles and can sit up perfectly straight and she goes from lying down to sitting up every two minutes. She also pulled up two times today b/c she just couldn’t stand to miss out on the action! Second, Molley is really, really photogenic. Like, she can take incredibly pretty pictures. And third, Matty is too cute, funny, and sweet for words lately. 

So, like I said, these are from May 14th.

Matty is not trying to mu*rder Molley, despite how it looks. He was going in for the kiss. Although, if you take this photo below in addition to this one (towards the end), he’s suspect, huh?

See? A kiss!

“…and I’ve had enough!”

“Really! I mean it! I’m done!”

Isn’t she just too smiley? Molleyis the HAPPIEST BABY ON EARTH. Always smiling like this. Morning ’til night. I love it. And still the most affectionate baby ever. She hugs, kisses, and coos at me all day. When she wakes up in the morning, she crawls up to my face and wakes me up witha kiss. Love that. Any time I pick her up, she nuzzles her head into my neck, coos, then pulls back and kisses me, complete with either a real kiss sound or a “mmuuaaah!” What a love! And she only loves on Ed, my mom, Matty, the dog (of course), and me. Not strangers or even friends. I’m so glad that she has known who her family is from Day 1. (It’s  like we’re totally attached! I mean, she acts like this and it’s been over two months.) (Ha! Please don’t miss the sarcasm.)

Speaking of the dog, remember how I said her first word a few weeks ago was “Gidget?” Yeah, well, she really does love the dog. She cannot get enough of Gidget. Today, she crawled over to her, saying, “Gidget, Gidget, Gidget” the whole way, then laid her head on Gidget’s stomach and just cooed. It’s very sweet. After she woke up and showed me some love, she began asking for Gidget. Then, after her nap, same thing.

And while I’m on the topic of sweet and loving, Matty is on a roll. I’ve always heard that boys start expressing so much affection around 2.5 and it’s true, even though he’s still two months away from 2.5 and he has been like this for two months. So maybe more like two years old! My little guy is the biggest love! I think it’s his age, combined with Molley’sover-the-top (but awesome) expressions of affection. He is just so sweet. At bothbreakfast and dinner, I always sit between the kids. Not always at lunch, but I make a point to sit down with them at breakfast and dinner. Matty usually holds my hand through at least half the meal. His hand just unconsciously wanders over to mine and he takes hold. If he’s not holding my hand, he’s reaching over to pat my arm or my leg. Throughout the day, he gives me sweet little smiles. He comes up to me many times a day and hugs or kisses me. Sometimes while he’s playing, he’ll just run over, hug my legs, and go back to whatever he was doing, like no big deal.  OhMy, melt my heart.

I just think about how insanely hard we had to try to get him to the point of NEUTRAL with us – you know, not hitting or growling or angry. He has only been with us for 18 months, and considering what the first ten months of his life were like, I’m in awe of where he is at now.

Well, I was going to post the second set of photos, which are from Stacy and Delaney’s visit and all the fun we had with them and with Kelley and her family, but like usual, this got long. I’ll put those up on Friday.

Hope everyone has a great week!

Ms. Molley

Well, I had a nearly-finished post I intended to put up on the 7th, when Molley had officially been a part of our family for two months. And surprise…that didn’t happen. So, here’s something a little more updated about my girl.

Molley went to the physician’s office for a vaccine yesterday. I asked the nurse to weigh her, just so I could know. Guess what?! My girl, who weighed THIRTEEN pounds just two months and one week ago, now weighs SEVENTEEN pounds, TWO ounces.  Can you even believe that? My previously itty bitty little malnourished sweetie weighs over seventeen pounds! I am SO pleased with this I cannot even stand it.  She is also longer, although I’m not sure how much longer b/c we didn’t check. I was more concerned with weight..although I’m not any more.

Molley eats like a champ. In fact, she is turning into a little piggy and is eating us out of house and home. She still packs in five or six jars of baby food each day,  one or two four ounce cups of applesauce,  a cup of fortified baby oatmeal, and downs at least 32 ozs of formula every 24 hours. I have to buy a bunch of formula at a time b/c she goes through a standard sized Similac Soy containers every FIVE days. Crazy huge eater. For a while, I was adding extra formula to each bottle, but I stopped doing that last week. At this point, I don’t think it’s necessary. She is definitely a piggy. Any time anybody eats around her, even if she has just eaten and is not hungry, she says, “mmmmmm” and opens her mouth! Same goes for drinks. And when she doesn’t get any, which she never does because, you know, she’s a baby (!), she gets annoyed.

I’m sad to report that she is a TERRIBLE sleeper. Yep, my girl that slept from  7 to 7 while we were in Ethiopia sleeps from 9 to 4:30 or 5:00 with MANY wakeups in between. It’s like Matty Part 2, but not quite as severe because the reasons are very different. Anyway, I’m tired. And bummed. And fatter. Yup, the lack of sleep has contributed to a fresh five pounds, planted firmly on my fat ass. Great news, huh? ‘Cause the 15 from Matty weren’t bad enough, now I can address 20. I mean, I’m really, really tired! When Ed got home Friday night after having been gone since the previous Sunday, I was a zombie. He slept downstairs with her both Friday and Saturday night so I could get some decent sleep. I really, really was hoping we wouldn’t be here, complaining about sleep again, but what can I say? I guess God figures we got through it with Matty, so why not another year, huh? I’m wondering if she wouldn’t do better in her own bed. We’re thinking about trying the pack n play in our room or maybe even putting her back in hers. Keep your fingers crossed b/c selfishly, I *really* am not up to another year (or however long) of this.

Lack of sleep aside, Molley is the HAPPIEST baby on the face of the earth. I mean that. She always has a HUGE smile plastered on her beautiful face and giggles round the clock. She may not sleep much, but she wakes up crazy happy. She takes tons of catnaps in the car and unlike Matty for the first six-eight months, Molley likes to take a nap every day. She sleeps anywhere from 1.5 to 2.5 hours each day. Sometimes it’s a little work getting her to sleep, but I manage. It’s funny – put her in the car and she’s out in 30 seconds flat. Put her in a bed and she’s all, “Nooooo, thank you!”

My girl is talking already. Matty’s first word was “dog.” Molley’s is “Gid-geet.” Yep, the dog’s name. Not “mama” or “dada,” but “Gid-geet.” She says it clear as a bell. Any time the dog gets near her, she says it over and over. She was scared to death of the dog for the first three days after I had the dog back from my parents (about a month after we were home), but then suddenly, she and Gidget were buddies. Molley is SO gentle and loving to the dog. I’ve never had to remind her to be gentle. She pets her and hugs her and is just so sweet and soft with Gidget. Of course, Gidget is the best dog ever; she sits there and takes whatever comes her way, but Molley is very kind to her. If Gidget is outside, Molley crawls over to the door, puts her face against the glass, and says, “Gid-geet, Gid-geet…” over and over until I let the dog in. It’s very, very cute.

Speaking of speaking, she also says, “All done!” when she is done eating. Honestly. The first time she said it, I thought I was just making something out of a little babble, but now she does it regularly and others have heard her. Today, Ed handed her something and we both swear she said, “Thank you.” She also repeats a ton of words.  Is it weird that my little 9.5 month old  can talk?  She is pretty on-target in most areas and certainly  not “ahead,” but she can talk a little more than I would have expected. I’m pretty sure having Matty around, who never. stops. talking., is the reason for this. She also went straight for “mom” instead of “mama.”  I’m correcting her on that one! She says, “Up” sometimes when she wants to be picked up. And she has the sweetest little voice. It’s so tiny and delicate and adorable.  She just laughs all of the time. Her personality is so pleasant and happy.

She is very mobile, but still refuses to crawl in the traditional way. At this point, I’m convinced she is going to skip the whole “normal” crawling and just be a scooter. She is very fast and gets around just fine. She can get up on all fours and does it all the time, but when she’s ready to move, she hits the floor and takes off commando style. The only downside is that her clothes are getting road rash.

She sits up from a lying down position if she’s so inclined. Up until today, she did it maybe once a day, but for some reason, today was it! She sat up, laid down, sat up, over and over. At least 30 times in the span of a few hours. She is capable of pulling up but doesn’t do it often. She usually only pulls up on Ed or me if we’re on the floor with her. She loves to stand and have me hold her hands. She bounces and takes steps that way. Molley’s legs are getting SO strong, which is a huge relief because when we first met her, I was worried they would just snap in half because they were so tiny and weak.  She likes to sit up on her knees, which is funny and strange. She literally sits straight up on her knees (not folded under her, but straight up). I have no idea where she got that or why she does it, but it’s cute.

She is still mommy’s girl. She is very shy around strangers and when people approach her and talk to her, she nuzzles her head into my chest and holds on tight. I have to admit I sort of love that because it’s so sweet and nice to start at this place vs. having to get to this place. Make no mistake, I’m well aware that we have a long way to go before we hit the attachment stage, but this is an easier start, that’s for sure. Recently, someone put a post up on our agency’s group titled, “We’re attached. Now what?” The baby has been home for just under four months and displays all of the behaviors Molley has since day one – not wanting me out of her sight, clingy, refusing to go to strangers, etc. The parent has determined that the child is very attached and wants to know how to transition him to daycare. How do you explain to someone that that’s not necessarily a secure attachment? I guess it’s possible, but in my mind, it takes a lot more than four months. Any thoughts?

On a positive note, although Molley is still clingy with me, she is getting so much more comfortable in her home environment. She likes to crawl around the loft and play with toys and with Matty. I can actually sit on the couch and she doesn’t mind a bit. Downstairs, she loves her walker. She hauls all over the place. I’ll admit I”m starting to hate the thing. I have bruises on my ankles and squished toes; it’s definitely a hazard. However, she *really* loves it. Matty also loves having her in it. He takes her for wild rides all over the house. Just watching makes me nauseous, but my obviously  doesn’t get motion sickness.

And finally, speaking of which, Matty and Molley make a great pair. They are really starting to have a lot of fun with each other. He gets annoyed with her here and there, as I would expect, but it’s very, very mild. More often, he is playing with her or looking out for her. When both kids are in my bed, he constantly reminds her to “be careful, Monney!” if she gets too close to the edge. The other day, he grabbed both of her feet and dragged her back to the middle of the bed b/c he thought she was in danger. Too cute! (I’m always there, by the way, and I generally don’t let her fall out of bed unless you count that one time in Ethiopia, when she landed face up over a can of formula, or the one time here that she took a dive off the end, but whatever, stop judging me, it happens.  Every time I change her diaper, Matty brings me a new diaper and opens it up for me. He usually climbs up on his stool, surveys the situation, and announces, “Ew! Gross! Pooka! (poop)!” If I have to lean down to the bottom of the changing table to refill the wipes container, he announces, “Tummy!” and puts his hand on Molley’s tummy so she won’t roll off the table. He is truly an awesome big brother.

Mattix constantly hands Molley dropped toys, runs by and gives her a kiss or hug, and brings her toys to play with. He “invites” her to play at his train table almost daily. One day, he’s going to be freaked out happy when she decides to stand up and take him up on the offer. He also likes to help me feed her baby food. It’s so cute – he drags his little stool up to her high chair, announces, “my help feed Monney,” does the “choo choo train” thing, then says, “mmmmm!” after he puts the bite in her mouth, just like I do.  He likes to help put lotion on her after he baths and he also combs her hair. On the rare occasion that Molley needs a bottle in the car, he watches her carefully the entire time and literally YELLS at me if she drops it. He doesn’t quit until I either reach back or pull over and get Molley’s bottle for her. He plays peek-a-boo with her from the car seat and spends a lot of car rides cracking her up with funny faces or sounds.

If you can’t tell, we love this baby girl so much! She is really opening up and becoming herself. And she fits into our family so well. It’s been amazing for me to watch her over the past two months…almost hard to believe. On April 7th, I was handed a sweet, quiet, tiny, motion-less, clingy baby that just wanted to sit in my lap. Today, I have a sweet, crazy mobile, interested, curious, big eater who is learning to be as loud as her big brother. I cannot even believe how much progress she has made in two months.

Oh my gosh, I love my kids!

In an effort to change things up this afternoon, I took the kids out to my parents’ McMansion-in-the-making latest construction project.  Matty LOVES it there. He can totally be a typical boy, play in the dirt, run around the half-finished house wreaking havoc, drawing on the foundation, drawing on the framing, getting in the way, staring in awe at the heavy machinery, etc. I mean he LOVES it. As soon as I pulled him out of the car seat, he immediately hit the dirt with his little toy backhoe and announced, “My play in dirt!” (He uses “my” for “I,” “me” “I am,” I will,” etc. ) Matty spent many, many days there when my parents watched him while Ed and I were in Ethiopia and he loves it.

My little brother had the day off of work, so he was there helping out. I’m pretty sure Matty’s obsession with my little bro has reached stalker lever. Like if Matty were older, my little bro might need a restraining order. Lucky for everyone Matty is two and adorable and my brother is smitten with him. (Matty’s named after my brother, so it’s pretty neat that he loves his uncle that much). Mattix only heard my brother’s voice – didn’t even see him yet – and started SCREAMING, “Uncee Matt! Uncee Matt! Where are you????? You hiding? My comin!” When Mattix found Matt, he threw himself onto his leg and wouldn’t let go. It’s funny to see, because my brother is 6′4″, 280 and Matty’s two and half feet tall and 25 pounds. My brother is a natural with kids – way more than I ever was, even for the first few months after I *had* a child – so he and Matty are an awesome pair.

Anyway, I spent almost three hours laughing my a$$ off. So did just about everyone there – all of the subcontractors were cracking up.  I swear on all that’s holy, if my kid isn’t the funniest, smartest two year old alive… This is the BEST age. It’s exhausting, the fits are silly, the stubbornness sucks the life out of me, and if I have to threaten and enforce one more time out I’m going to lose my $hit, but I’m telling you, I am having so much fun with Matty right now. He makes me laugh all day long, even when I shouldn’t laugh b/c he’s in trouble or in time out!

Highlights:

- After hearing my dad call my mom from across the place, Matty suddenly got the concept of first names. He started yelling, “TERRY! TERRY!” anytime he wanted my mom and “LAURA!” any time he wanted me. He kept that one up all day until I finally told him if he wanted me, he’d better start calling me “Mommy” or “Momma,” ’cause I wasn’t answering to “Laura” again. That was the last time I heard “Laura!”

- So the first time he called me by name, saying, “Laura, come here, peeze!”  my mom said, “Did he just say L-A-U-R-A?” (she spelled my name) and Matty was all, “L-A-U-R-A, come here, peeze!” Swear to God. He spelled my name back and told me to come here.

- I asked him if he wanted to eat a snack. He said yes. I offered him the choices I had brought – a banana, string cheese, dried fruit chips, or “gummies” (Annie’s fruit snacks). He always freaks out over gummies and always picks them. Instead, he said, “Nope! No tank too, Mommy. My havin’ chips. Papa’s chips. My want some, peeze, Papa.” And he held out his hand to my dad.

- Any time my brother would get out of Matty’s sight, he would run around, yelling, “Uncee Matt! Uncee Matt! Wait! My comin’!” At one point, my brother was up on a ladder. Matty announced, “My comin’, ladder. Wait!” and started climbing a 12 foot ladder.  If Matt hadn’t come down, Mattix would have kept going.

- He walked up to the guy from the alarm company and demanded, “BUMP IT!” as he held out his fist.

- Someone turned on a radio, so he bent over at the waist, stuck his hands on his butt, shook his little booty like his life depended on it, and announced, “Nakee booty dance!” That’s what he does when he’s nakee, by the way, before showers or baths. I guess he was really moved by the music today. Also, he almost fell down the stairs this morning because, half way down, he stopped to do his bent-over booty dance. And last week in Coronado, when we were out for a walk along the bay, he stopped and did his thang in front of a big crowd, finished, and walked off like nothing happened. Hil-ar-i-ous.

- He demanded my brother’s phone, flipped it open, held it up to his ear and said, “Ello? Ello? Uncee Matt? You dere? This Madd-tix. Hi. My bakchoe. Bye! Who-k!” (Who-k = hook, as in, put the phone back on the hook,  but he says “who” with a “k” at the end). He had a full-on Middle Easter accent. I don’t know where it came from. We couldn’t stop laughing.  Matty takes on accents often, esp. when he is having “phone conversations.” He usually sounds Hispanic or Middle Eastern.  I have no idea where it comes from, but it’s great.

- After wandering off with Matt’s phone, he frantically yelled, “Matt’s phone! Lost it! Hep me, Mommy!” Lucky for us, Matt left his phone on vibrate, so that made it really, really easy to find. Yeah, in a very semi-constructed house. 45 minutes later, I found Matt’s phone. Matty didn’t get why he couldn’t have it back. He kept saying, ” My turn!”

- When it was time to leave, he wanted his Uncee Matt and Papa to go, too. My mom and I were the only ones going with the kids, but Matty wasn’t having it. He stomped his feet and YELLED, “Papa! Uncee Matt! Go! Now! Mommy’s car, now! Go!”

If you’re wondering what Molley was doing the entire time, I’ll tell you. She was in my arms, snuggled into my chest, giving kisses and cooing at me. The girl actually coos at me. She makes all sorts of “ahhh” and “mmmm” and “uuuhhh” noises while she nuzzles me…all day long. And kisses. So many kisses. Not only does she make the “mmuuuaaah!” sound,” she also learned to actually make a real kissing sound.  I get kisses every five minutes. And also, she knows what “kiss” means, so if I ask Matty for a kiss, Molley beats him to the punch. Oh, and the little boy I once had to beg for loves? He has turned into the most cuddly, affectionate two year old EVER. I couldn’t possibly keep track of how many spontaneous, unprompted kisses, hugs, and snuggles he gives Ed, Molley, and me on any given day. And my parents and my brother. He loves us all and isn’t afraid to show it.  Seriously? Could my kids be any greater? Never mind they have huge diaper blowouts, the little one doesn’t sleep, and the big one pees on the carpet like a dog. They’re seriously the best.

You know it’s going to be a long day when…

… at 5:30 a.m., after you discover two inches of poop coming up the top of your son’s diaper while he’s running around the loft at 200 mph (at 5:30 a.m. – did I mention that?), and you spend 10 minutes cleaning it up while he STANDS on the changing table b/c it’s such a mess that you cannot possibly imagine lying him down, where little crumbs of doody fall onto said changing table (I say crumbs b/c he’s probably been wearing the dirty thing around for at least 45 minutes b/c God forbid he actually let me know he has 4 pounds of crap crusted in his a$$), he runs across his room, leans against his carnie  ”ninon” (lion) all drunk college guy style, and takes a big, giant whiz on the carpet, one half an inch from the wood.

Really? He couldn’t just do it on the wood, where I could wipe it up, then spray it down with a disinfectant? He had to do it on the carpet so I could clean it up with puppy carpet cleaner, except that my two year old human son, not the dog, made the mess?

So it’s not over.

I went to change Molley’s massive blowout that occurred simultaneously (Matty’s took precedence, just because he’s more mobile and I’m sure it was there longer), which was equally enjoyable. As I was cleaning up that little jewel of a gift, Matty announced, “Potty!” I looked over – there’s a jack n jill bathroom between the kids’ rooms – and saw him on his musical toddler potty, doing his pee pee business. I was all proud, praising him and whatnot while still handling Molley’s gift, when he announced, “DUMP IT!” Nooo!!!  I couldn’t stop him in time. So then I cleaned up that pee, but at least it was on the tile.

So it’s still not over.

We went into my bathroom so he could take a bath in the “Beeeeeg tub!” Before I could even turn the water on, he jumped in first, took another giant whiz, and announced, as if he were super surprised by this, “Moooorreeeee potty, Mommy!”

This was by far the best location for an improptu pee, if you ask me.

Please tell me it’s just ’cause he’s a boy and that Molley’s going to totally potty train easily by the time she’s like 12 months old.  I have a feeling when *I* actually grow the balls to decide to potty train Matty, it’s gonna be fun, fun, fun.

It would have been a very long day, I think, but my mom came over late this morning to watch the kids for me while I went to an important appointment. She ended up spending the entire day with us, which was just what I needed for my mood and attitude. I *heart* my mom.

I have a huge smile on my face. After I got both kiddos to bed (around 8:30), I came downstairs. My mom was digging through her purse for her car keys. Instead of keys, she pulled out a butter knife that my adorable son jacked from the restaurant where she took us to dinner. Grandmas let their grandchildren get away with murder, which includes playing in their food, destroying $30 tubes of lipstick,  and wreaking havoc on their purses. Three things that ain’t never gonna happen with me! Well, nobody saw him stow away the butter knife. So, I now own a restaurant butter knife. Love my kids.

I’ll put Molley’s post up tomorrow. Today was a good day, despite the crappy appointment this morning. Everything will work out in the end…it’s just the stress of getting to the end that is hard. I’m lucky to have a great spouse, and great family to make days like today okay. And kids. Awesome kids. Amazing kids. I love my kids.

—–

Thanks for the comments and emails after my last post. You guys are really kind and I’m always appreciative of the support you offer. Tomorrow is my grammy’s burial, which will be a difficult day, but a good one. She’ll be laid to rest with my grandpa, who she lost 23 year ago.  I just want to add that she was less than two months shy of her 94th birthday when she passed. She lived an amazing, full life. I’m very rational and I know this. It’s just that selfishly, I’ll miss her very much.

Sunday blues

First of all, we had a great time as a family in San Diego, even though Ed worked during the days. Unfortunately, we came home Thursday night (the kids both did wonderfully and managed to make it home in seven hours, which was an improvement), we learned my grandma had taken a turn for the worse. She passed around 1:00 a.m. Friday.

It’s strange – I didn’t want her to suffer and her death was a blessing in that she didn’t spend a lot of time bedridden, in pain. The one thing I would never wish upon anyone is to suffer at the end of life. I don’t fear dying much – although I do have a greater fear than I used to now that I have two little kids - but I fear a long, drawn out period of suffering at the end. And so I’m so appreciative that my grandma wasn’t in the condition that she had deteriorated to for long. However, selfishly, my heart is broken. I know that she won’t be here with us; I will miss her in general and especially at our huge annual Christmas gathering. She was the matriarch of my dad’s side of the family. She was an amazing woman with a heart full of love and compassion.

One of my cousins had the entire family over to her home Saturday night for a catered get together. Another cousin put together a beautiful photo show, set to my grandma’s music, of photos from my grandma and all of the family from her birth until shortly before her death. She played the piano her whole life, gave lessons for years, played in the church for years, etc., and was insanely talented. She taught me for about four years when I was younger, and I still have one of her pianos. In fact, about four months ago, I sat down and played for a bit after eight-ish years of not touching it. I decided that when I have a little more time, I’ll have it tuned and try to play again a few times a week. I have a lot of remembering to do.

Anyway, it was really a nice evening and special way to remember her. We  all talked, played games, ate delicious Mexican food, cried, and laughed. The kids and I will attend her burial on Tuesday, then the whole family will have a formal memorial next month. Last night, I had a dream about my grandma. I cannot remember the details, only that I was both happy and sad. At one point, my grandma took my hand. I woke up and found Molley holding my hand. I realize I only dreamt that because Molley was holding my hand and the sensation caused the dream, but it was still nice. During one of our visits with her in hospice, when she was sort of lucid, I told her we had a new great granddaughter for her to meet. She held Molley’s hand, put it to her cheek, and commented on how soft her skin was. She said that she was happy to have Molley here. I’m so glad that we had that opportunity.

My mom, Matty, and I took photos when we visited her shortly after she went into a memory care center last April. It’s hard to believe it has been over a year since then.

 

Enough of that…I can’t type very well through the tears.

Speaking of which, I’m prone to tiny little teary situations without notice. VERY unlike me. I have the sad blahs and I don’t like that! Ed and I are dealing with unpleasant life crap that is stressing me out, to say the least. I’m thankful for a spouse like him b/c I know we’ll make it and be okay, but sometimes it’s hard. I know things will be fine in the long term, but it’s the getting there part that isn’t easy. Losing my grandma on top of it was bad timing. I’m not a cry-er, but you wouldn’t know that if you were anywhere near me during the past three days and counting. It doesn’t take much to set me off. I don’t like that; hope it stops soon. Ed is about to leave for the airport and while I’m usually just fine, I’m not looking forward to this week. At all. It’s not going to be an easy one.

On a very, very positive note, Ed and I met Molley exactly two months ago today! What a huge difference two months makes. I have a post nearly-written that I’ll post tomorrow. No reason to cloud the happiness with my current funk, you know? For now, I’ll say I’m very grateful to have her as a daughter. She has melded into our family so unbelievably well. The first five-six weeks were very difficult, just because I was so sick, on my own a lot, and the giardia situation, but once we moved past that, it was like everything just fell into place.  She is a true blessing and I often wonder how we got so lucky with both of our kids.

Our trip last week left me way behind on most blogs. I’ll catch up in the next few days without commenting so that I can actually catch up…just know I’m reading!

I hope everyone had a nice weekend! Sorry for the downer post; I’ll try harder tomorrow.

First time at the beach!

First of all, I never said thank you for all of the advice regarding the bottle situation. Thank you. I read every last comment and email at least five times. Then, as it turns out, this same issue was on one of the VN listservs. I was catching up on three weeks worth of VN listserv stuff and found it. Boy, are we not alone! I’ve decided that right now, whenever Matty asks for a bottle (not just bedtime), he gets one. He’s been getting about three or four a day…I think he is onto me and my new found relaxed attitude about bottles.  However, he is the most enjoyable, loving, sweet kid to be around. He is full of happiness, life, and affection. FAR less whining, meltdowns, defiance, etc. I know it’s because he is getting what he wants/needs emotionally. Works for me. As I said before, Molley has brought out the most loving part of Matty that I knew was trapped in that little body all this time. He has more hugs and kisses for Ed, Molley, and me than I thought possible. All day, every day, we all get hugs, kisses, and “Bug you, Mommy (Daddy) (Monney)!” I’m totally eating it up. At least twice a day, he has me pick him up, he takes me cheeks between his hands, does this funny little thing where his whole little body goes back and forth (left to right), looks right into my eyes the whole time with a huge smile on his face, then plants a big one on my lips. Then he hops back down and goes back to whatever he was doing.

This morning, the kids slept late (in our world, 7:00 is late)! Actually, Matty slept until 7:00; Molley was still sound out. Matty’s crib is at the end of our bed in the hotel room. When he stands up in the morning, he calls, “Morning, Mommy! Morning, Daddy! Up, peeze!” then climbs into bed with us to hang for a minute. We knew Molley would wake up anyway, so Ed began rubbing her back so she could wake up pleasantly vs. being pummeled by an excited two year old. Weren’t we presumptuous? Matty crawled over and rubbed her back and patted her booty and WHISPERED (I didn’t know my kid could do anything but be really loud), “Morning, Monney. Wake up!” He was just too sweet.

Both my babies are sweethearts. Molley is in full kissing mode, making the “mmmaaaahhhh” sound almost every time. She hugs me more times than I could ever begin to count each day. Matty was so appreciative all day today. The kids and I had a picnic lunch in the park before playing. Actually, Molley passed out in the stroller while Matty and I had the lunch. I laid out a beach towel in the grass and got out the food. He looked right at me and said, “Thank you lunch, Mommy!” He really, really, really wanted to play b/c the playground was within sight, but he was so patient while I ate. (I know, huge surprise, right? Make the kid wait while the fat ass eats. Story of my life.) He waited at least 15 minutes before he asked, “Play, peeze?!” Then he helped clean up without being asked. I know this is mundane stuff, but I’m so proud of him and the effort he has been putting into being so kind. We played hard for a while, then he finally demanded, “Night night. RIGHT NOW!” I’m not making that up. Right now?! We came back to the hotel and he passed out cold within five minutes. That’s not like him at all. I guess he knew that if he didn’t demand a nap, today would be like all the other days here and he wouldn’t get one. Smart kid. He slept for and hour and a half before Molley’s loud, rowdy playing finally woke him up. I thought we were in for it b/c this kid does not wake up well if he’s not ready, but he popped up and exclaimed, “All done nap, Mommy!”

After Ed finished working, we took the kids to the beach. It was really cold all day today, but for some reason, at 4:00 p.m. when we went, it was perfect. We took 150 pictures. I had trouble narrowing them down. Here’s way too many. It was a great experience. Mattix was thrilled with the whole thing. He squealed and screeched and laughedlike I haven’t seen in a while. Oh, and he was fearless. A little too fearless. He was knocked down at least three times by big waves (no photos – Ed was too busy watching him at that point) and another time, thought it would be funny to get on all fours and wait for a wave. He ended up face down and dragged out through the sand (just a few feet). He came up choking and laughing! He ate more at dinner than he usually eats in a day b/c he was so active. I loved it. I miss an active lifestyle. It’s so hot at home that we’re all just more sedentary. Plus, I don’t love our desert landscape, so going for five mile walks isn’t fun for me. I’m really, really excited we’ll be spending a fair amount of time here!

Gratuitous pics…

 

 

Seriously, it’s that much fun!

So, first of all, on our way home from dinner (as in, we were walking back across the street), we stopped at our old favorite liquor store (that is direclty acorss the street from our old house). We actually used to appreciate it for the deli and easy access to candy bars, but now that we have kids? We were totally picking up a bottle of wine. I was smack dab in the middle of posing for my Captain Morgan photos with Matty (see below), when we ran into our old neighbor. He used to live next door to us before his whore of a finace went and did some not-so-good things. We moved away four years ago and he moved away three years ago. He used to do Search and Rescue for the navy, but he’s been living in Hawaii since moving. He still lives there, but was in town visiting. How random is that??? And yesterday, Ed ran into a neighbor from the other side of our house who still lives in her condo. Small town in a big city.

We went to Sea World really late this afternoon after Ed was done working a full day. No matter – a two year old and a nine month old can only last so long. It was fun, but it wore me out, too. The kids literally passed out as soon as they were buckled into their carseats. No trip to Sea World would be complete without a monumental blowout for Molley. No giardia, just your boring, average, run-of-the-mill blowout all. over. the. place. No worries…not photos.

Matty on the Elmo flying fish ride. He loved that he could control the “up up up, down down down” part!

Matty and Ed, rocking their “GQ” pose. Love my boys.

Matty adored the polar bears exhibit. Isn’t it cool how they sit against the plexi glass? Matty was totally into it, even giving the giant (mean) bear a kiss through the glass.

If you watched Friends at all, you’ll ge this. Ed totally gets the “Chandler” thing in photos, where he smiles all cute and normal, but right before the photo snaps, his eyes get huge and his smile gets funny. You know what I mean? He has the eyes here. We joke about it all the time.

Matty vs. the Bird

Matty’s first taste of cotton candy. I’d say the (NASTY) spun sugar was a hit, wouldn’t you? Gross what kids like. I’m happy to report that he tired of it very quickly.

Me and My Girl. I honestly had not idea Ed was snapping photos. As much as I hate to see myself in a photograph (ick), I love to see how comfortable and content Molley is with me. She’s my little baby girl!

Fun before bed!

At the end of the night, all covered up in his sissy’s warm blankee, keeping his “guck guck” safe!

I am ex.huas.ted. Long day. I’m going to bed, too!

BTW, love how this morning, Matty crawled into bed with us and drank his milk and snuggled for half an hour. I had everything that matters in the world in one place, snuggled and sleeping. Im’ a lucky girl.

I LOVE this place!

I forgot how much I missed Coronado until we got here yesterday. Love it. Love it. Love it. I wish I were in an emotionally stable place to move away from my family, but I’m not. I need the support that my friends and family offer Ed’s and my little family. So, until we’re at that place, we’re semi-sorta part time moving here. 

We drove (good times) b/c although Matty and I traveled all the time via airplane during his first year home and we had it down to an easy science, something about packing up two kids, all of their crap, two car seats, a double stroller, and everything else that goes with that and boarding a plane didn’t appeal to me.

What used to be a 5.5 hour drive for Ed and me became an 8.5 hour drive. How does that happen??? We’re sure to figure that one out with time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Molleyis the world’s best traveler. She slept 80% of the time, and when she was awake, she happily sat in her rear facing car seat, checking herself out in the mirror, babbling and laughing. She also played some peek-a-boo with Matty. 

Um, Matty? He’s two. Yeah. He’s actually a great traveler, but he is so chatty right now that it would drive a saint crazy. And yeah, he’s only two. He hasn’t even started the whole “why?” phase yet. Can’t wait. I love his chatting, trust me, but after that long? It makes me tired. He did a tremendous job handling the long drive. Off topic, but his manners are great lately. He has been saying “please” and “thank you” all. the. time. It makes me smile. I really noticed it yesterday b/c he asked me for something or other every one point five minutes. I couldn’t even get annoyed b/c he always said “peeze, mommy!” and “tank too, Mommy!” and used his sweet, adorable, appreciative voice.

We’ve been making a big deal about this road trip in an effort to prepare him for the long car ride. He fell asleep for the last two hours (thank goodness) and when we got here at 10:00 p.m., I called dibs on Molley, who was also sleeping. I adore my Bug – you guys know that – but ain’t nothing worse than waking him up. Well, Ed slid open the back door of the rental minivan (BTW, I don’t get it. I tried. I kept an open mind.  I’m still sticking with the Mommy SUV), Matty’s eyes popped wide open, and he yelled, “Tan Tiego!!!!” and freaking squealed in the 8th octave. We checked into our hotel and he prompty burst into our room screaming, “Tan Tiego House!” He ran around wild and crazy until midnight. Molley was crazy, too. They had so much fun together.  I’m sure his Tan Tiego House neighbors loved us. In fact, one of them was an air force pilot who walked to the Continental breakfast at the same time we did. I could only look at the ground in shame.

Highlights from yesterday:

- In my (and everyone who has ever ridden with, followed behind, been near Ed) opinion, Ed isn’t the world’s best driver. Yesterday, he drifted a little onto the part of the highway that makes that horrible loud grinding noise. You know what I mean? The part that is intended to wake you up if you fall asleep and drift? Ed doesn’t need waking up. He drifts wide awake. Anyhoo, Ed did that and Matty screamed, “DADDY’S DRIVING SCARE ME, MOMMY!” Isn’t that the best? The kid really is a genius. This followed an incident about three weeks ago, when were loading in the car to drive to Kelley’s house. Ed and I were discussing who would drive. He said he would, but I know he wasn’t feeling well, so I offered a few times. Finally, Mattix had it and said, “Mommy drive,” pointing to the driver’s seat, and “Daddy SIT!” pointing to the passenger seat. Isn’t he brilliant? hilarious?

- I had to pee (TMI, huh?) and Molley needed to eat and Matty needed to stretch his legs and both Ed and I needed a fees hots of hard liquor to drown out the noise, so we stopped in some shit hole town where I was sure I was going to disappear Sandra Bullock style in The Vanishing, except I told Ed that unlike Sandra Bullock’s boyfriend who never quit looking for her, Ed would totally give up looking for me after like a day, but then he’d realize he would have to take care of the kids alone b/c he’s not quite the catch that he used to be (or he used to think he was), being that he has a 27 month old, a nine month old, and snipped balls (so no future bio kids), so he was unlikely to find someone to marry, so then he’d start looking for me, but it would be too late. He pretty much agreed with my whole assessment. Ass. Anyway, there were millions of flies. Like, gross, nasty flies everywhere. About 200 of them (okay, more like 15, but seriously 15 is gross) got into the car. After we got back on the highway, we were engaged in a rousing game of “get the flies out,” wherein we’d wait for one to land on one of the windows, then we’d roll down the window really quickly and the fly would, well, fly out. Matty started shouting from the back seat, “My turn. Bug my window! Open” and he only did it when a fly was really on his window. As exhausting as this age is, I adore it. So far, two is my favorite.

- When a fly would land on Molley (before we finally got them all out), he would SCREAM (and I mean scream), “Bug on Monney! OKK! OKK! Now! Help!” (Okk =off – still cant’ get the “f’s.”) Isn’t that cute? He watched her like a hawk until all the bugs were out of the car.

- We stopped in another shit hole place after dark. It was sort of in the middle of the mountains but once again, I had to seriously pee. Let me tell you that I’m the girl that can hold it for HOURS and HOURS and HOURS – all day long, if need be, because I have an aversion to public bathrooms, but it was THAT bad. We pulled off the highway, into the dark, and up a road into pitch black  to this scary, straight-out-of-a-horror-film gas station. I swear to you, the really tall, huge sign light was making that crackling/buzzing noise and blinking on and off, the wind was blowing hard and making a metal pole creek back and forth, there was an ABANDONED old rickety diner right next to the gas station, there were those icky bugs that like light flying all over the place, and some of the four other people who were also stopped there looked like the first to go in the horror films. You know what I’m talking about.  I had to pee sooo badly. The bathroom was literally around the side of the building . I kept thinking I might rather get back in the van and just piss myself because I was that freaked out, but I did the squat and pee in like 15 seconds flat, certain that some axe murderer was going to come in through the broken window above the door (that I don’t think locked) and kill me while my pants were down. (Nice visual, right?) When I came out, Ed had Molley in the back and was changing her diaper. I was all, “Hurry! Hurry! We’re totally gonna get killed” and he was like, “You’re a freak.” But I’m telling you, I know my stuff. Just as we were getting ready to leave, this border patrol agent pulled in next to us, gave us the weird “you’re next” stare, got out really and LIMPED – I mean that horror film limp , where it’s all slow and deliberate – into the “store.” Scary stuff. Won’t be stopping there again.

Today was so nice. I miss this place. I kept telling the kids how much had changed since we moved away. ‘Cause they knew what I was talking about, right? And if they did, they really cared. I love the weather, even the humidity at this time of year that leaves that nice layer of film on your face, b/c it was high 60’s but felt warm and perfect b/c of the humidity, but not too hot. I love that we can walk everywhere – to the grocery store, to any restaurant, to the video store, to the beach, to the bay… While Ed worked today (this isn’t a vacation - Ed’s here working and we came along),  I took the kids to my old favorite pizza place and watched Matty eat a piece of the pizza I used to love (I didn’t know I had Celiac when we lived here; just thought I was wasting away and dying). I took them on the walk I used to take the dogs on – a long walk around the bay and through the park. Matty loved it. We played on the playground for hours.  Ed, the kids and I met friends for dinner and walked to the other end of the island and back – no driving. We probably walked five or six miles today, which isn’t anthing crazy, but when I lived here, I did that every day. Not for exercise, but because it’s just part of living. I miss that.  I miss being able to have as many drinks at you want at dinner, then stubling home.  I miss going to the dive bar one block away, then stumbling home. I miss walking to and from happy hour. Wait, I’m gonna get this one right. I miss living somewhere that you feel (and are) so safe you can be out walking any time. I miss the weather. I miss the lack of scorching heat. I miss the activity level; where I live now, even if something were in walking distance, you drive.

But, if I lived here permanently, I’d miss my family and my friends – our support network. So, there’s that.

At one of our stops (the Vanishing one). He looks happy, right? All that attitude you see? Just as real as it looks.

Better today!

I realize this looks like Matty is trying to take Molley down cop-style and Molleyis totally choking to death, which means a big lawsuit against the police by the family, but I promise it’s not. I put her on the little bench by him and asked him to please put his arm around his sissy so she wouldn’t fall. I wasn’t specific about *where* his arm should go. Molley was cracking up. I just caught it at the wrong time (then set the camera down, just so nobody would get taken down cop-style by mistake).

Matty announced, “Monney getting cold” and brought her a blanket out of the stroller. Love my sweetie.

 

And this is what happened to my kids on the walk down to dinner. This never happens to Matty. You can imagine how well dinner went after we woke him up. Good thing our friends have a two year old as well! They understood.

Finally, this is him now. Check out the hands!