Meet The Babies/last post from DC

These are the Babies:

 

This is their bed:

 

These are the babies IN their bed:

Mattix seems older than his age to me in many ways. It’s not just a he’s-growing-up thing. He has seemed that way since we came home…like his short first ten months of life experience aged him at three times the normal rate. However, he often does little things to remind me that he’s really just a one-and-a-half (almost two) year old and I treasure them.

Yesterday, my mom and I went to Union Station just to see it. It is my personal goal to go to all of the tourist places in DC while I’m here each time so that eventually, I’ll hit them all. I keep chipping away at the big ones. Not much to see, although the architecture is neat. Anyway, we went into a small shop and I found these adorable little finger puppets.  They were all teeny tiny and so sweet. While my mom and I oohhed and aahhed over the lady bug and bee, I handed Mattix a giraffe just to see what he thought of it and oh. my. gosh. MELT my heart. Really, my heart melted into a puddle in my chest. He took it from me, held it up, studied it, and then went to town giving it delicate little kisses. He “pet” it and kissed it and loved all over it. At that point, he had made so many kissy sounds that he had an audience. He had the giraffe on his chubby little pointer finger and he was loving it. This is when he almost killed me. I asked him to please give the giraffe back so I could return it to the basket. He looked at me with this horrified expression of desperation, clutched the giraffe to his chest under both of his hands, ROCKED back and forth, and exclaimed, “MMMIIIINNNE!”

Now, usually when you think of a child declaring “mine,” you think about some little brat throwing attitude. That’s not what happened at all. This was the FIRST time he had ever said “mine.”  I’ve never heard that word come out of his mouth. And of course he used his sweet baby voice. Just thinking about the way he said that makes me want to cry. I asked him if he wanted the giraffe, and he looked up at me with the biggest smile ever and said it again: “MMMMIIIINNNE!” And I’m not even kidding. He held the little giraffe up to his chest, cradling and rocking it, smiling from ear to ear. By this point, there were at least ten people gathered around his stroller and everybody was dying. In an unusual occurrence, he didn’t even notice the attention, so there was no hamming and being cute just to be cute. He was so sincere and it was just precious. My mom and I dug around in the basket and found a raccoon, which he loved even more than the giraffe.

It gets cuter.

Later, we were in a bookstore, having coffee. We pulled out the finger puppets and gave them to Mattix and he again did the hugging and rocking routine. Then my mom dug in her purse and found an Al*toids container. She opened it up and put the finger puppets inside, where they fit perfectly, closed the lid, and handed it back to Mattix. He looked at my mom as though she handed him a million dollars, opened it up, pulled out the animals, and exclaimed, “BAY-BEEEEEES!” He set them back in the container and said, “BAY-BEEEEEES! Nigh nigh!” before closing the lid.  He did it over and over and over, meticulously putting them “to bed” before closing the lid.  

Mattix is such a sweetheart, but he really hasn’t shown an inordinate amount of affection towards any of his toys or stuffies. Of course he used to make out with Glow Worm, but it was nothing like this. He was just tickled over the “bay-beeeeees.” I cannot even stand how sweet that was. I think he might be in the market for a baby doll when we get home!

While I’m on the topic of adorable, he has been waking up in the happiest mood in the mornings. He is in a crib in our room while we’re here. That makes it VERY difficult for Ed and I to get any decent sleep. Mattix makes a lot of noise during his sleep and while it’s difficult to sleep while listening to it on the monitor, it is ten times as hard when he is five feet away from your bed. However, we’re in a new, unfamiliar place. Furthermore, it’s super nice, but the apartments are loft style so the ceiling are very high, there are bits of exposed concrete, and the floor to ceiling windows (that take up one entire wall in each room) are covered with one giant roll down shade that looks intimidating at night, with the shadowing and whatnot. Even though we’re up on the 12th floor, it’s still strange looking at night.  I guess I just feel like it’s better that he knows we’re nearby. I put the crib up against the wall in the corner of our room and covered the two “exposed” sides with a sheet. When he wakes up in the morning, he likes to do it slowly. He knows I’m in the room, but he lays in his crib and babbles and tosses around and does his thing for anywhere from five to thirty minutes. When he’s ready, he pops up like a jack-in-the-box, shouts, “Ma maaaaa!” and then says, “HI!” in the cutest, highest pitched voice ever. I drag my sorry, exhausted ass get out of bed and as soon as I pull him out of the crib, I’m greeted with a huge hug and kisses.  I put him into bed with me and he rolls around and plays for ten minutes or so before he has enough and wants to go into my mom’s room to get her, too. He knocks and her door and yells, “Ma Maw!” Then he does the rolling around the bed routine in her room. When Ed is home in the mornings, Mattix stays in our bed even longer. I love this and it’s something he’s just too busy to do at home. I’m going to miss it and I think Mattix is going to miss having Ma Maw in the same house.

He had a traumatic wake up from his nap today and it took an hour for him to calm down. There was a lot of back arching, uncontrollable crying, and dry heaving, which is very unusual for him, but all in all, he did very well with his new surroundings this trip. He seemed to love all of the fun things we did, especially the outdoor stuff, but he was also really great about hanging around the apartment.  At 1300 square feet, It was definitely larger than the apartment we were in last time we were here for a month (and much nicer), but still significantly smaller than our house. Plus, he doesn’t really have any of his toys and belongings. I bought him a few things once we were here, but at home his favorite things are his big toys that he can ride on or in, like his wagon or THIS awesome car that I scored at a resale shop for $25. Given that, I’m super impressed with how well he did. He is really maturing in that he can hang out and play with something for a longer period of time as well as use his imagination with things that aren’t actually toys.

The only bummer was that we didn’t have his favorite Yo Gaba Gaba episode and so each morning when he brought me the remote and said, “Up up up!” I had to break his heart. Every single time, I offered him the same explanation: “We can’t watch ’Up, Up, Up” Matty because we only have it at home. When we get home, we’ll watch it, okay?”  He just looked back at me with a long face, as if he were thinking, “Why? Why would you do this to me? Why?!” Then he’d try again the next morning.

I’m actually sad to head home tomorrow, even though the weather has turned on me and it’s flipping freezing here now. I went through early menopause in my late 20’s recently and I kid you not, I can tolerate the cold in a way I could not in the past. I joke about the menopause thing, but I clearly had a hormonal shift. It’s kind of nice to be able to tolerate cold, even if I don’t love it. This time, *I* was the one complaining about the heat being up too high and Ed was whining about being cold. Go figure. He used the kid against me, insisting that he would get cold in his sleep, and so I suffered through many sweaty nights. How wrong is that – to go for a mom’s Achilles heel?!

I’ll post more once we’re home. I think this will be Mattix’s 18th flight, so I’m sure there will be nothing exciting to report on that front. We’re on a late evening flight, so chances are, with a little liquid gold, he’ll sleep for most of the five hour direct flight. I can’t even wait for Halloween!

My name is Mattix and I have a problem

New thing: hangin’ out with his hand in his pocket. Don’t interrupt Joe Cool (not to be confused with Joe Six-pack):

 

Today’s highlights:

(1) The “babies” – more to come tomorrow b/c this post will get too long. The cutest thing ever.

(2) Me, walking out of the nice, warm, calm lobby into a freaking tornado. I didn’t even see it coming. I checked the weather forecast and nowhere did I see anything about a hurricane. My mom was holding Mattix and I kid you not, I had trouble keeping a handle on the stroller; it almost blew away. When my mom set Matty down so that she could get into the cab, he almost fell over.

Here’s where it gets ugly. Imagine me in a pleated, A-line, knee length skirt. Now imagine me in that skirt…up over my head. So. Not. Pretty. Thank goodness I had on opaque tights, but there ain’t nothin’ in this world opaque enough to cover that $hit up. Trust me. I’m confident that a number of nearby pedestrians are in psychotherapy right now, as I write this. If that incident ends up on the ‘Net, I’m gonna die.

(3) Mattix’s most exciting discovery to date. Behold the power of the automatic sliding door!

I’m not quite sure why he *just* discovered automatic sliding doors. Maybe it’s the first time he has been through them while not in the stroller? I don’t know, but he spent a solid half an hour today at the botanical gardens walking up to them, yelling, “Open, open!” and squealing with delight as he ran through. Once he got to the other side, he would turn around, back up just enough so that they would shut, and repeat. He entertained a lot of people.

(4) This:

 

My mom and I had lunch in the National Museum of the Native American and wouldn’t ya know (he he he), the cafe had merlot. In cute little one (and a half, but who’s counting) serving bottles. The only thing worse than this picture was me, with the bottle tipped upside down, trying to suck out every last drop. NO, *I* don’t have a problem. I didn’t want Mattix to either (a) get even a drop of Jesus Juice (he he he again), or (b) get any red wine on his clothes, because I’ve *heard* that it stains. I realized how bad and/or sick I looked when my mom lost it. It was at that point it became apparent to me that sitting there with my head thrown back, a mini wine bottle down my gullet, and my tongue licking out the inside probably wasn’t too sightly. So I took a napkin and wiped out the rest. Parenting has worn me down, but not that much. I just knew that giving the bottle with the SCREW top (yeah, we’re that classy) would keep Mattix busy for a while so I could enjoy my second glass of wine lunch.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, my mom drew much attention to us by spending the following 25 minutes snapping photos. She actually used up the rest of her memory card. Enjoy! 

 {may I present myself with this fine $6.25 mini-bottle of merlot?}

{hmmmm….a screw top? i’ve heard it’s “the new cork.” we shall see…}

{inhaling deeply} {well, it does have a nice aroma}

{oh wait! it’s a screw top, not a cork! i knew that!}

{i’ll just pour a little of this stuff…}

{oh my gosh. i’m really partying now!}

{look! i’m playing telephone all by myself! two phones! ha ha ha ha!}

{wwhhaaaatttt? hhhuuuuhhh? did someone say somfin?}

On a serious note, Mattix obviously does not have access to alcohol, nor would I allow him to think he does. My mom and I each had a glass of wine with lunch. We weren’t sitting in the museum cafe, knocking back glasses of merlot and getting hammered at 2:00 p.m. on a Tuesday, all the while letting Matty have a field day with a mini bottle of wine. It was entirely empty. He plays with empty water bottles and empty soda bottles all the time. He love to screw the caps on and off, pretend to pour them into a cup, and pretend to take drinks; he’ll occupy himself for quite some time doing this. Sometimes I’ll actually hand him an empty water bottle if he gets fussy when I’m trying to get ready in the mornings. For all he knew, this was the same thing. We just didn’t have a water bottle or soda bottle. Just wanted to write that out for anyone who might be ridiculous, unable to get the joke, and take issue with these photos.

How precious is his profile? I know I say it all the time, but I just adore Mattix’s profile, esp. when he is concentrating.

Check back tomorrow for photos of “The Babies!”

The Zoo, Part Deux

(He he – I can rhyme!)

We went to the zoo on Friday and it was AWESOME! Remember when we went in March and I complained about how much it sucked? There were very few animals out – probably because it was freaking freezing – so between that and the cold, I wasn’t in love. Neither was Mattix. HERE is a photo of him passed out, back in the old days when we couldn’t leave the house unless he had a watered down bottle in hand (or mouth).

Our trip on Friday was so much fun and I’m pretty sure that getting to hang out with Katherine and Tori is what did it! I fist met Katherine IRL when I was here in February/March. Katherine and I have a lot in common and we had a great time chatting. This time, I got to meet Tori and let me tell you, if it’s possible, she is even more beautiful and adorable in person than she is in her photos. Mattix thought so, too. Check it out!

{going in for the kill}

{wait for it……………..}

{and it’s love!}

{thinking he’s the man}

{hey, she looks happy, right?! okay, so this may have been taken out of sequence, but that’s okay, right? how adorable is tori???}

I’m hoping Baby D doesn’t see this. Katherine and I have decided that my pimp kid must be thinking about having an East Coast girl and a West Coast girl. This isn’t behavior I should be encouraging, right?

We had fun, there were lots of great animals, and I have to say that I really enjoyed myself. My rating of the zoo has went way up and I’m looking forward to going back.  :) Mattix’s new found fear of random animals, people, and objects left him a bit wary of anything larger than the merekats (those were really cool, by the way, and had Mattix laughing hysterically), but overall, it was a great day.

Of all the cool animals, Mattix loved this bear statue the most. Go figure.

{showing me the bear’s eyes}

Mattix is such a BIG ham. I cannot even call him a little ham because there’s nothing little about his hammy-ness. We hung out in the area where the bear was for a while. Turns out it’s quite a popular photo spot. Mattix would run around and do his thing…until a kid would go pose in front of the bear so his/her parent could take a picture. Then Mattix would run behind the bear and pop out the side with his big cheese ball smile. He made every effort under the sun to get into EVERYONE’S photos. I found myself jumping up and dragging his little hiney away – much to his very audible displeasure – a few too many times. I got tired of apologizing to parents who wanted photos of THIER kids instead of mine, so we moved on.

{his signature move, except there were various children in the photo every time he did it}

The zoo was decorated for Halloween and it was so cute. We set up Mattix and Tori in front of a display, but I got so involved with taking their photos that I cut the background out. Oops. How funny is this photo?

{matty: baby, are you legs tired? ’cause you’ve been running through my mind all day long.}

{tori: oh, please. like i haven’t heard that line before. boys – they never learn. i’ll just sit here and act disinterested and maybe he’ll go away.}

{tori: yaaawwwwnnnnn. he actually thinks that taking off my stroller strap is gonna work.}

{mattix: note to self: stroller strap is a no go. let’s give the shoes a shot}

{tori: you have GOT to be kidding me}

{tori: so this is over, right?}

{matix: that’s okay. i’m okay. hey, she totally kissed me earlier.}

Told you we had fun! I really cannot wait to get together with Katherine and Tori again.  My new favorite place is the children’s garden in the botanical garden, so maybe the girls will be up another trip into the city. I was terrible about taking photos. I get like that when I’m around other adults! If Katherine had not pulled out her camera all day, thus making me remember to do the same, I would have had nothing. She got some great shots that I need to get copies of from her. If Karma really does work, I don’t deserve those for the next six to ten months, because that’s about how long it takes me to get photos to people who ask for them.

In other breaking news, Mattix and I took the Metro ALL BY OURSELVES after the zoo! We even had to switch trains once. We rocked and I was embarrassingly proud of myself. I know that’s lame, but there’s no such thing as public transportation where we live, so this is new to me. We then met up with my mom at the museums. Mattix and I sat outside in a garden area for a while and he played with a few other little kids. There was a couple there with their two beautiful little girls who were sooo close in age. They were both walking, but the older one couldn’t have been more than two. The girls were precious and Mattix was very interested in being their friend. It as so sweet. The family spoke Japanese and we obviously don’t, so we couldn’t communicate, but the kids played for quite a while. Mattix, in his new promiscuous way, gave the one girl a kiss. He kept picking up leaves off the ground, running up to them, and proudly handing over his “gift” while exclaiming, “LLLEEEAAAFFFF!”

{here is is playing before the other kids showed up. i had put my camera away by the time the girls were there. i’m really sorry i didn’t pull it out again. the girls’ mom took a lot of photos and i have a feeling they were really precious.}

After that, my mom came out and we went to  a nearby restaurant to eat dinner. By then, Mattix was exhausted. In a very rare occurrence, he passed out at the table. I could see it coming, so I stuck out my hand and grabbed his head just in time. My mom grabbed his jacket and he had a comfy place to sleep!

He slept for about 45 minutes, but was woken up abruptly by a loud noise. I think it was a plate that dropped or something. That ended our day, because he had one of his traumatic wake up experiences where he is disoriented, scared, upset, and unable to be consoled. He just clings to me and cries his heart out. His cry is strikingly infant-like and it takes a long, long time for him to calm down. This happened last week in Chicago. These two incidents reminded me that this is how Mattix used to wake up every single time, in the morning, in the night, after he fell asleep in the car, etc.

Mattix rarely falls asleep when we’re out any more, and he almost always wakes up happy at home, so it was really a reminder of how well he is doing. However, it’s hard for me because I feel terrible that I cannot make him feel better. Also, while I’m holding him, he’ll get the shivers and occasionally arch his back, sort of struggle, and get a little louder. That brings all sorts of looks from strangers. I only note that because it remind me how far *I* have come. I couldn’t care less. It might look like he’s throwing a fit to people, but trust me, he’s not. He’s scared and upset and my job is to console him, so I do.  And I’m pretty sure all the dirty looks I got where from people who thought I should have been disciplining him, but obviously that’s not the case at all. I have fully applied my “suck it” attitude to just about every last aspect of my parenting and I’m loving it! (By the way, we were in the restaurant when he woke up, but I immediately took him outside so that he didn’t bother anyone who was trying to enjoy their dinner.)

We have a few fun plans for this week. My mom, Matty and I are headed to the arboretum tomorrow. I can’t wait. Today was such a beautiful day and we enjoyed it so much. Ed took some really great photos of Matty. I didn’t feel great this morning, so I met up with my mom, Matty, and Ed a bit later. When I got there, Matty came running at me full speed with the biggest smile EVER and yelled, “HHHIIIII!!!!” I almost died right there. Mattix is honestly having so much fun here and there is so much to do. I’m actually disappointed about going home at the end of the week. Of course we’ll be back soon enough, but DC is REALLY growing on me and I could see myself living here at some point. Remind me I said that in December.

******

******

Mattix got a hold of the lens cap to the camera. In his world, he was holding gold. The forbidden – even if it’s just a small piece – is very, very valuable.

****** I didn’t know what to title this post because truthfully, it’s sort of a random verbal vomit of thoughts. I just wanted to write this down, mostly for myself. It’s choppy, doesn’t flow for crap, and is more or less a bunch of thoughts thrown on the screen. Although I usually write exactly like I talk, I don’t think I’m quite this stupid! Doesn’t matter, though, because like I said, this is for me.

I think I’ve been honest about parenting Mattix, meaning that I’ve shared the fact that he’s not always easy to parent. He is an absolute joy to parent -truly, I love being his mom - but sometimes it is difficult.  I’m a pretty strong girl, so I take the tough days in stride, but there have been a few times where he has literally worn me down to nothing by the end of the day, especially because there are many, many, many days and nights when he and I are on our own. I’m a stay at home parent and so when we’re on our own, I don’t go to work (outside the home) and I don’t get a break. Mattix is not a good sleeper and I cannot remember the last time I slept through a night. It’s not uncommon for me to get up four or five times during the night. I’m not at all complaining, but I am saying that it’s not always sunshine and roses. It’s wonderful and I love being a mom, but it’s not always easy. 

Mattix went through stages wherein he challenged me tirelessly. Not just your average toddler challenges, but ones that would drag on and on and on. This child forgets nothing and concedes little. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think that these parts of his personality – the unbelievably strong, stubborn, challenging, and sometimes pissy parts – are what allowed him to survive what he did and still come out with his spirit intact. Had his personality been different, I’m not sure he would have had much of a spirit left.  I love, and I mean LOVE, who he is. I love his attitude, his personality. I cannot imagine him any other way. He is so smart and so freaking funny. His intelligence drives his sense of humor. Did I think that a year and a half old child would have a sense of humor before I had Mattix? No! But as it turns out, he is SO funny. He had my mom, me, and an every last person eating lunch at Pot Be*llies laughing uncontrollably today. I love that.

I picked my battles very, very carefully, but when I chose to draw the line in the sand, Matty always did his best to move the line. I felt incredibly insane for going toe to toe with a barely-toddler, but at the same time, I *know* this personality. I probably have a toned down version of it myself. As such, it’s been important to me to be an extremely nurturing parent, but also one that is the parent.

Because we were very permissive when Mattix came home for quite a while – we HAD to be – we found ourselves in a position that we expected: one where our child didn’t really have many boundaries. I always said no to hitting us or the dogs - and enforced it - and I always stopped him from hurting himself (hitting himself in the head, pulling out his hair, scratching his scalp, ears, etc.), but other than that, there really wasn’t a whole lot of “no.” I do not regret for one second how we handled things. Others who don’t understand adoption, adjustment, and the commitment one must have to attachment may have thought we were spoiling Mattix, although if anyone did think that, they were smart and knew better than to say that to me. Wouldn’t have went well. Every last time that he wanted to be picked up, we picked him up. Every last time he woke in the night, we went to him. In fact, we’re still pretty much doing those things. Every once in a while, I’ll tell Mattix he needs to wait a minute if he wants to be held, but the incidences are few and far between because to me, his needs, no matter how silly they may seem, are that important. Will I do this forever? Probably not. But really, I think he’ll just naturally outgrow a lot of things before I need to make them stop. I mean, does a six year old want to be picked up all the time? I don’t really think so.

When Mattix first came home, he went through a stage, which was really an initial adjustment, where he often pretended we weren’t there because he didn’t like us. Children shouldn’t be capable of feeling hate, but if you ask me, my precious child felt just that. It was tempered by moments of happiness, but the mood swings were drastic and the uncertainty and mistrust were evident. Given his prior circumstances, I wouldn’t have expected anything less.

The amazing thing, and the point of my writing this, is that each really draining, difficult phase seems to be followed up by one that filled my heart with happiness. Each time he enters such a phase – and before he leaves it, because he is normal, after all! – I’m certain that it is the best ever. But you know what? They just keep getting better.

Adoption and attachment are a journey and I hope that we all know that. I recently said that I’ll hit a point where I think I can’t possibly be any more attached, and then a month later, I’ll realize that I am indeed more attached to him than I was the prior month, the last time I had that thought. Yes, it’s a two sided journey, and Matix and Ed and I are in this ride together. The HUGE difference is that I had an advantage at the beginning of this journey. I am an adult. I had not experienced loss or heartbreak. I had everything to gain. I wanted to bring this child to my home, into my life, to my country. I wanted him to become a part of my family. I waited for him. And yet I *still* had to attach to Mattix. I often think about that – how I began our journey full of hope and love and anticipation and excitement. And then I think about how he began it. What a contrast. For me, the love was instant, but the attachment was a process. For him, nothing was instant except for the fear and confusion.

And I look at where he is today. I’m humbled. What an amazing little person.

During the last four weeks, I feel like we’ve hit a whole new level of attachment. Not one where we’re entirely, perfectly attached, because that’s silly to think that at ten months home, after ten months in the orphanage, Mattix would be at that point. But an incredible one. He has finally accepted the fact that there are a handful of things on which we will not budge, period. He accepted the fact that no matter how much he challenged me, I wouldn’t cave. He stopped being angry at me for that. Even if he didn’t like it, he began regarding those as normal limits.  He began showing even more affection, more consistently. He began listening to me and doing much of what I asked of him with a smile on his face.  (Don’t worry, he does all sorts of regular old toddler behavior, but I’m not talking about that.)

Most importantly, he fully realizes that I am Mom and Ed is Dad. And he loves us. Crazy, huh?  I would lose count if I tried to add up the number of times, over the course of a day, out of sheer emotion, that Mattix grabs onto me and hugs me or kisses me. It’s impulsive and sincere and I love it. Strangers probably think we’re crazy. I’ll pull him out of a high chair or out of the stroller and he’ll just grab my cheeks tightly, squeeze, put his lips to my cheek, and hold on tight. Sometimes for two seconds, sometimes for thirty, and sometimes for a minute or more. I always melt into the moment and everything around us stops. It’s sometimes hard not to cry.  Today, he ran up to me outside a museum where we were playing around, threw himself into my arms, put his face level with mine and just held on. I know that these are “normal” behaviors for children, but the contrast is so intense. Nine and a half months ago, I would approach Mattix for a brief kiss and he would slap me across the face. I went back to January and found this in one of my posts:

Mattix is actually generally happy in the mornings once he’s completely woken up and gotten his bearings, despite the night troubles. Well, this morning was quite the exception. I came downstairs, wishing I could just crawl back into bed, but looking forward to seeing the smile that makes my day. It was not to be. I walked up to him and said, “Good morning, baby.”; And got smacked in the face. Yup, my adorable little baby bitch slapped me…I said the usual “No, Mattix, be gentle,” took his hand, and touched my face softly. Apparently, he disagreed…and a second bitch slapping ensued.

Now he hugs and kisses me because he wants to. No matter how much of a hurry we’re in or what we’re doing, I always freeze and hang on for the hug or kiss until Mattix is done. I can’t imagine not appreciating this.

I know this is choppy and semi-incoherent, but for me, the point we have reached is significant and I want to appreciate it. And when we have difficult days or weeks or months, I’ll know that there are many more wonderful ones to come. After all, ten months ago, I would never have imagined writing this post.

The Next Face of Baby Gap???

I’ve decided to become a stage mom and pimp out my kid. Ed saw an ad for this in the window at the Gap when we were in Chicago and jokingly said that we should enter Mattix, turn him into a child star, and live luxurious lives off of his income. I thought, “Why not?” NO, not “why not?” to that, just to entering a few of his photos. I mean, he IS cute, right?!

These are the five photos I uploaded:

 

Just having fun! Even though I’m well aware that Mattix is the cutest kid ever, I’m not staking the house on it. 

We’re having a good time in DC. My mom flew in on Sunday evening to hang out with us. Matty and I are really enjoying her company, especially because we’re alone when Ed is at work. On Sunday afternoon, Ed, Matix and I went to the Mall and just let Mattix wander and hang out.  He loved being allowed to run around wherever he wanted, especially after so many busy days, an excessive amount of time in cabs, on the plane, etc.   He was sooo cute! He also interacted with lots of other children. I think he’s getting a little shy and it’s quite adorable. 

Ed, Matty and I went to dinner with one of Ed’s senior manages, her husband, and their freaking adorable one year old son tonight. I think Matty met his match with table manners in the Two and Under category. Their son was soooo good. He is so chill and calm and I almost turned green when I learned that he began sleeping through the night at six WEEKS old. Yeah! And he actually sleeps in on the weekends. HUH? I’m so jealous I can’t even stand it. I’d take one or the other – sleeping through the night OR sleeping in. But BOTH?!

We went to the Mel*ting Pot (total pig out fest for me, thank-you-very-much-I-need-to-lose-20-pounds-but-clearly-don’t-give-a-sh*it) and we were there for almost three hours. Both boys were AMAZING. Almost three hours at the table and the only time Mattix misbehaved even slightly was when he really, really wanted to eat the small container of horse radish filled cocktail sauce. We couldn’t figure out what he wanted and he cried his little eyes out. It wasn’t even a fit – it was just  heartbroken sadness. How cute is that? We finally realized what it was, gave it to him, and I kid you not, he started spooning it into his mouth and loved it. What’s wrong with this kid? He was a rock star and both boys outdid themevles. We didn’t get home until after 11:00 p.m., which is the latest we’ve ever kept him out, and he was a little angel until his head hit the pillow, where he promptly passed out. What a great night. Matty was in a charmer mood and he had just about every woman in the restaurant flirting back, laughing, and dying over his cuteness. I can’t blame them. I mean, look at him right before we went out!

 

 

 

 

And here are a few from the past couple of days, just because I’m in the mood to post photos and I have so many right now.

{hard at work, sweeping the floor. he literally opened up the coat closet, got out the broom and went to work}

 

{he has been getting balloons everywhere we go and he loves them! this one was tied to his belt loop all day}

{he helped himself to my mom’s shoes}

{cheese ball smile on the playground}

{don’t you wish going down the slide made you this happy?}

{i asked him to sit down, put his hands on his lap, and smile “like a big boy.” tell me this isn’t hilarious and precious at the same time.}

 

{matty’s new thing is to turn his bib around like a freaking superman cape. adorable, but not entirely functional}

 {more fun with balloons}

{out on the Mall. he is fully obsessed with birds right now and points them all out. every last one. all day. all the time.}

{danger! crazy toddler!}

{if you read my blog in february/march, you might remember this photo:

{well, it has been eight months and look how much he has changed! he liked the carosoul so much better this time}

{he had a blast in the children’s garden at the botanical gardens. he ran around for over an hour and still wasn’t ready to leave}

{hard at work with a shovel}

{his face looks so grown up in this picture and it makes me sad}

That’s probably enough for now, huh? I have even more, but I’m super tired.  The Bug wen tto bed at 11:30, it’s now after 1:00 a.m., and I’m pretty sure he’s not going to sleep past 6:30. I’ll put them up tomorrow.

Chicago!!!!

[I've been a terrible blogger lately. I'm really going to work on that. By the end of the day, I'm totally worn out and exhausted. All of the time zone changes, packing, difficult nights (Matty's sleep hasn't been great), and fun/busy days have added up. We've been on three separate flights, in three different cities, in three different parts of the country, in less than one week. The good news is that even though I look like I've been through the ringer, we're having a great time. I plan to blog again more regularly, including posts of actual substance.]

Chicago was awesome! The highlight for me was on Thursday, when Mattix and I had the pleasure of spending the day with my former email, and now IRL, friend Lisa. I first “met” Lisa well over a year ago, while we were waiting for travel. Must have been fairly early on, because I know I was still sane at that point and didn’t have to drag myself off the couch, brush off the crumbs, and wipe the tears out of my eyes to answer the phone. Ha ha ha.  Lisa was looking for info on our agency and I shared our experience with her. (Side note: this is why it’s important to get opinions from people at ALL stages of the process. At the time, I recommended our agency. I recall saying that obviously my opinion was only based on my experience up to that point, but still.  I listed the pros and cons, but the end result is that at that point, I would have used them again. Now that our adoption is completed and I had the “full” experience, I feel very differently. The change in feelings is not based on emotional factors, either. Anyway, just some food for thought.)

Lisa and I kept in touch via email. I always felt like we would totally hit it off. And I was right! I just read an email from her and she said that it seemed like we were old friends catching up rather than meeting for the first time. I couldn’t agree more. I feel so lucky to have finally met her in person. And we made it to Chicago just in time, because she’s moving away in two weeks. LISA: you need to start a blog! Lisa is so warm and kind and freaking hilarious. We both had the same (not so nice, but hey, we’re honest) comments about two girls that pulled up next to our cab to ask our driver where the Play**boy building was. She’s got a great sense of humor. And she’s totally sweet. When the time is right, she’s going to be an awesome mom. She is oozing maternal instinct!

Mattix really liked Lisa, too. These days, his warming up (or not warming up) to people is a total crap shoot. He warmed up to Lisa quickly, though, and even remained asleep in her lap during a cab ride. Lisa treated us to lunch at an amazing Mexican Food restaurant.  I just loved our entire day and didn’t want it to end. I plan to have an awesome girls’ weekend with Lisa once she has moved and settled in with her husband in their new state. Speaking of which, Lisa needs good house vibes.  :)

The aquarium was great, although we totally could have taken Mattix to REI and the dog pound and saved $30 worth of tickets. The highlights for him were the tent/pretend camping setup and the “pet” show, which really was just the animal trainers bringing a few dogs onstage to show training techniques. He was tickled to death during that and everyone was treated to Mattix literally screeching, “DOG! DOG!” every thirty seconds. He’s really developing a sense of fear lately and the huge fish and marine stuff scared him, so many of the exhibits weren’t great for him, but it didn’t matter because we had such a great day.

Thank you, Lisa! I can’t wait until I get to hang out with you again.

Matty and Lisa:

Matty and I:

The rest of our time was great, too. Chicago is a neat city, but it is WAY too busy and WAY too loud for me. I thought DC was a loud city, but I was looking forward to going back because it’s quiet in comparison.  I still cannot get over how busy the streets in Chicago are – people pile up 50 deep waiting to cross the street. I felt like I did when we were in Vietnam – people everywhere and no personal space. (I’m starting to sound like I’m from a small town, huh?) 

At a park in Chicago:

 

Matty now has his Cheese Ball smile perfected. When I say, “Show me your smile!” this is what I get:

Against our hotel room window:

Doing the Spider Man on the window:

At the Chicago VN War Memorial, which we just happened upon during a walk:

At the top of the Sears Tower. Yeah, that was a fun wait to get up, then back down. Mattix only melted down ten times. The one and only highlight for him was the 100 plus story ride to the top on the “up up up” (what he calls elevators, which are his current OBSESSION – we cannot walk past one without riding it up and down). Oh, and the ride down on the “up up up” (confusing, isn’t it?). Two hours, twenty six bucks, one very cranky kid, but at least I can say I’ve been to the top of the Sears tower, right? If you don’t believe me, this is the best photo we have to show for it.  Not good.

I was so stoked about the American Girl shop. I was spoiled rotten by my grandma as a child and had all three original American Girls, way too many accessories, and the American Girl baby. Yup, that’s right. When I first began my “collection,” there were only three AGs: Samantha, Kirsten, and Molly. That was back when the American Girl name was owned by the Pleasant Company.  I still have the dolls, plus the baby, in their original boxes, way too many boxes of clothing and accessory stuff, and the books…in Matty’s closet! Once he figures that one out, I guess they’ll need a new home. Anyway, I’m not a doll collector or anything, but I got a little giddy about the AG’s store! It’s great that they actually expanded their collection to include dolls other than, oh, I don’t know, all white ones! Matty wasn’t into the dolls, but it was really hard for me not to buy one for our one-day daughter. I restrained myself. That or Matty yelled enough to force me out of the store. I’m pretty sure it was the latter. Anyway, he yelled and screamed in the AG shop but he was quite pleasant in the Disney Store. He found this button on the wall that sets off a chain reaction of over sized stuff located up towards the ceiling. I’m pretty sure the people in the store wanted to kill themselves. How many times can you listen to loud bells, bonking noises, and and honks? Apparently, the sky’s the limit when you’re Mattix.

Getting up close and personal with Tigger:

fin

Finally, Matty is becoming one well traveled kid. Ed and I counted up the number of flights he has been on in the past ten months when we were flying to Chicago. Not including layovers, he has been on 16 flights so far. Pretty crazy. I’ve lost count of the number of major cities he’s been to, but it’s a lot. I’m going to do my best to remember and start keeping track with pins on a map for him. I have to say that despite that fact that he’s not a great sleeper AT. ALL, he is an amazing traveler. He is flexible and easy going and really loves exploring new places.  With the exception of the flights in and home from Vietnam, which were hell, he’s great about 90% of the time.  He now knows what’s going to happen once we arrive at the airport and is ready for the flight. For the most part, he settles into his car seat and either naps or hangs out. He slept for almost three hours on the way to DC, played happily on the two hour flight to Chicago, and slept on the way back to DC. You know you travel with your kid too often when you settle into a flight, listen to the pilot announce that you’ll only be in the air for two hours, and say, “That’s it? Oh, no big deal.”

His new preferred ride through the airport:

Finally, I think I mentioned that I left Matty’s entire pile of socks at home. We went to Children’s Place and I bought a few pairs in size 12-18 months. I wasn’t aware that I was buying him either: (a) men’s socks from the 80’s, or (b) socks that you might find on the Girl’s Ne*xt Do*or.  What the hell are these things?!

A purse full of chips and a lap full of rice..

I almost finished a ridiculously long post about some of the weird happenings of our day, but *almost* is the key. I’ll put it up tomorrow or something. My body is still in *my* time zone, so *I* think it’s 10:00 p.m., even though it’s actually 1:00 a.m. here. The bad news is that Mattix is mostly switched over. 5:30 will be here very, very soon.

I just wanted to share our lovely dinner experience. I’ve bragged endlessly about how awesome Mattix is at restaurants. He still is. That’s either a testament to his own good behavior (he has been like that since we first came home) or it’s a poor reflection on us and our eating habits. Either way, my kid can outlast any other kid in the six months to five year category when it comes to sitting at a restaurant table, nine times out of ten. Every once in a while, he has an off day and isn’t in the mood to hang out, but for the most part, he rules. For example, we sat at the table for at least an hour and a half last night while I gorged on Vietnamese food and he never once complained.

 As of yesterday, he had never even knocked a plate onto the floor or spilled a drink on the table. Me? I’ve done both. He’s a messy pho eater, but that’s not his fault.

Well, no time like the present for “firsts.” Mattix has been having some very, very great days. For the past two or three weeks, we’ve been in a wonderful phase. I’m loving it. and I’m praying it lasts. It makes parenting much easier and much more pleasant. While today wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t quite as easy at the past few weeks. I’m sure Mattix is tired. He’s adjusting to a three hour time difference, which is truly something he does quite well.

Anyway, we were eating Mexican food – fajitas to be specific. Mattix loves Fajitas – lots of meat (this kid would die in a vegetarian household), guacamole, salsa, and sour cream. Yeah, I mean it. He loves ‘em all. Anyway, he cleaned house and ate everything on his plate except for about half of the rice. He proudly exclaimed “MORE!” (which sounds something like “mmmmoooorrrrreeeeee” with an accent) and picked up the plate to hand it to me. I took it, set it back down, and asked him to please wait a minute and be patient. I then began cutting up chicken on my plate. Mattix wasn’t in the patient mood. He once again picked up his plate and shoved it at me, saying, “mmmmoooorrrrreeeeee” in his cute little baby voice.

I was yet again right in the middle of telling him to please put the plate down and be patient when he dropped it. It bounced off the table, hit the basket of chips, and all hell broke loose. It ended with rice all over my lap, all over the ground, my purse chalk full of corn chips, and I swear, about a million more chips on the floor, scattered in a giant circle around my chair. The best part is that we were eating on the patio and the rice fell in between all the little cracks in the bricks. Oh, and it was super crowded, so every last person turned to stare at us.

Awesome. Let’s hope this was a first and a last. ‘Cause mama likes to eat her food, not wear it and/or carry it around in her purse.

Good news for Mattix: if I forget his snacks, I’m sure I’ll be able to dig out stale chip crumbs for the next few weeks.

How could THIS little package make such a big mess???

We’re Moving to DC!

Kidding. It just feels that way.  Matty and I were home for a week and now we’re back in DC for three-ish weeks. You know, by the time Mattix hits his one-year-home-date, he will have spent somewhere between two and a half and three months here. Does he qualify as bi-coastal? It seems like it.

While Matty and I were home for a week, Ed was home for a day, came back to DC for the week, then came home for less than 24 hours before flying back with us. Somehow, we managed to take care of a ton of stuff, including another fingerprinting (we’re at almost three years since we began our first adoption – yikes) and yet another home study update. When will they end???

So, the positive? Um, well {thinking really hard}……….we’re in a much bigger apartment this time. If we learned anything last time (February), it’s that spending over a month in a small-ish apartment with a kid ain’t fun. So, more bedrooms and more space. We’re also slightly farther from the center of town, so it’s a little quieter. Although being right in the middle of the city is convenient, it’s LOUD!

More positives? I have an awesome brother who picks up and moves into my house to house sit when we need him at the last minute. (Trust me – this was very last minute.) My mom is coming out next week for a while. That will be lots of fun.  I know a great person who lives here and I’ll get to see her again and finally meet her daughter, who has been home from Vietnam for a while and who has been doing so well, next week. Mattix has turned out to be the most incredibly flexible kid. This is a post in and of itself. My child is amazing. He has been on more airplanes and to more places in his first ten months with us than I was in my first 18 years. Seriously. Since coming home from VN ten months ago, he has been on six trips, all of which required three to five hours on an airplane each way, all of which required staying in different places, and he has rolled with the punches. As it turns out, he really seems to love going new places and he’s a great traveler. He gets SO excited once we’re in the airport and he realizes what’s going on. And when we arrive at wherever we happen to be, he becomes super occupied with exploring his new territory. He even stood in front of the new crib last night, pointed at it, and said, “Night, night. Milk!” My boy knows what he wants and when he’s tired, it’s bed! The week before last, he slept almost all of the five hours home on the plane home. On the way out on Sunday, he slept for two and a half hours and was content in his car seat for the rest. I’m very grateful for this. If I could accurately describe the horror that each and every plane ride was from the moment we left VN, it would probably make more sense. Let’s just say I didn’t expect this so soon. I’m truly appreciative. Mattix does not like to be confined and he does not like small spaces. So long as he has his own seat and isn’t on our laps, he’s a trooper.

Matty and I had a great time today, exploring our new “neighborhood.” Like I said, we’re a few miles farther from the “big” stuff, but it’s a lot nicer. The three of us went our for the most amazing VNese food EVER tonight. I’m being entirely honest when I say it was the best since coming home from VN. I know where I’ll be spending the next three weeks. Eighteen pounds of weight to lose…what? Who’s counting???? So much for chipping away at that! Oh well.   Karen, you might turn green – this is the first time we’ve had those deep fried bananas that are coated in rice flour since that awesome roadside place in VN. I needed a moment to myself. Really, I did. I was sitting at the table, eating deep fried bananas, drinking an iced Vietnamese coffee, and I’m pretty sure it was my special time. (Sad what does it for me, huh?)

What else since I’m going on and on? Oh yes, photos from dinner. The restaurant had only one high chair, and when we arrived, it was being used by another child. so, our server improvised. Quite impressive, actually. I’m pretty sure he ruined Matty for all future dining experiences. This looks far more comfortable than your average wooden high chair, no?

About a month ago, Mattix started to “smile” on command. Now, when I pull out a camera, this is what I get: Cheese ball, much???

When I say, “Show me your smile!” this is the smile he shows me. Silly and adorable.

He was showing Ed his smile here.

Toward the end of dinner, but before he went crazy over dessert, I noticed a noodle stuck to his adorable little face. I swear, all I did was pull out the camera again. I didn’t say a single word. By the time I had my little purse sized camera in position, my giant ham was ready:

I’m pretty sure I’m in trouble. No, I know it. Today, Mattix made it his mission to flirt with as many ladies as possible. Matty and I walked to the grocery store this afternoon and I’m being honest when I say that no less than 75% of the women we passed were oohing and ahhing over him. And it’s not because he was sitting in his stroller quietly. No, he was working it.

Is it just me, or is Mattix wishing death upon the stir stick from my airplane cocktail?

(Or is it the post-Benadryl, post-sleep, slightly dopey look? Hard to say….)

These were taken just before we left home. Ed and I felt very brave and ventured into the big W (Dubbya – and no, I’m  not referring to our current president). I also call this giant store…um…rhymes with “Hub D”… Mart.” I’ll let you decode. Anyway, in the interest of having a good time, Ed gave this to Matty:

It seemed like a good idea at the time. The problem was that Ed then had to take them away. Didn’t go well.

I guess I’ve pretty much lived up to my standards and written a super long post about nothing in particular that is all over the place and semi-incoherent. (No, I’ve not been drinking.)  So, I’ll stop. I’m still going to post the photos from the week before last in the next day or two, even though they’ll probably look strikingly similar to the photos that we’ll have from the coming weeks. And in exciting news for me, we’re going to Chicago this week. Does anybody live there? If so, let me know.  I’ve never been, so I’m looking forward to it. I read that the aquarium in Chicago is the largest indoor aquarium in the world. I’m so excited. I LOVE aquariums. In fact, I was thisclose to going to UC San Diego for undergrad so that I could study marine biology. Bet you wouldn’t have guessed that! Anyway, I’m not looking forward to the cold (don’t tell me it’s not cold; anything below 65 is pretty much freezing in my book), but the aquarium and all the other great stuff Chicago has to offer should make up for it. More to follow…

BTW, I’m really making progress in Google reader and I’m enjoying catching up.

Ten Months as a Family

Today (Friday) marks the tenth month since Ed and I officially became Mattix’s parents. That means that Mattix has now been with us for the same amount of time he wasn’t with us. After our referral, I anticpated that we would hit this mark after we’d been home for six months, when Mattix was just about a year old. Instead, he’s almost two years old. Funny how things turn out. 

In some ways, it seems like the past ten months have flown by, moving so quickly they are a total blur. In others,  it feels like it has been years since we came home with one very scared, angry, beautiful baby, that time has passed in slow motion.  The truth is that it’s a combination of both. Some things are so alive and vivid in my mind that it seems like they happened yesterday. Others are becoming a distant memory, fading slowly into the past.

I’ve heard other people say that it seemed like things really started to move in a positive direction when their families had been together for the same amount of time their child spent in the orphanage. It’s strange, but it’s really true. I think part of that is attributable to  the passage of time, and for us, another part of it is Mattix’s age.

Ten month ago, Ed and I officially became parents to the most incredible little person on the face of the earth. Ten months ago, that little person stared deeply into my eyes when he was first placed in my arms. He sized me up, stared me down, doubted me. Then he did the same thing with Ed. He was scared, but he didn’t want us to know. He wanted us to think he was tough. And he was. He was unbelievably tough. But he was scared, too. At that moment, we embarked upon a long, difficult, emotional journey: convincing this little person that we were not like the other people who had “cared” for him for the first ten months of his life.

He wasn’t an easy sale.

Shortly after we came home, I told Ed that it didn’t feel like I was looking into the eyes of a ten month old child. I felt like I was looking into the eyes of a ten year old. In ten short months of life, Mattix had experienced more pain, loss, confusion, heartache, loneliness, and cruelty than I had experienced in twenty seven years. His eyes revealed more knowledge, experience, and wisdom than any ten month old child should ever possess. He had the tiny little body, the sweet little face, and the limited physical capabilities of a child less than a year old, but the life experiences of an adult who had a hard life.

Ten months later, when I look into Mattix’s eyes, I feel like I’m looking into the eyes of a 20 month child. He’s smarter than his chronological age, but finally, his behaviors and attitude are in sync with his age. Mattix is no longer scared, ambivalent, uncomfortable, insecure, doubting. No. Instead, he is happy, loving, caring, comfortable, secure, and trusting. He looks into my eyes, calls me “Mama,” and means it. He looks to me for comfort. When he gets hurt, he wants me. When he’s scared, he wants me. When he feels uncertain, he looks to me for assurance.

As I write this, I realize that I spend far less time wondering whether a behavior is “regular” or “adoption-related” than I used to.  Of course I still wonder that about certain things, but it’s not something I find myself pondering multiple times each day. He’s a regular almost-two year old kid. He loves Ed and me. He trusts us. Just this week, he began saying “Wuv woo” when I say “I love you!” I know he doesn’t get it yet, but he will. Whether or not the words “I love you” make sense to him at this point, Mattix knows he’s loved. He didn’t know that ten months ago.

I would never say that Mattix is like a different child, because he’s not. He’s the same amazingly smart little person we met ten months ago. But I will say that many of his behaviors are like those of a different child. Logically, I knew we’d get to this point, but it was hard to believe that at 2:00 a.m., after not sleeping for more than an hour at a time for the previous two months, when I was holding this little baby down in my lap, his legs pinned under my left arm, his hands tightly held in my right. While I was gently rocking him, singing to him, trying to ignore the growls. I *knew* we’d be here, even if it seemed like it would take an eternity, but I didn’t realize how it would feel. It feels incredible. We are so blessed.

I realize that we’re still in the early stages of our lives together, that attachment is a long, long journey that’s probably never quite over, that things will come up that will send us backwards in time. But if you know how it was for us, if you’ve had the pleasure of knowing Mattix, then you understand why this is so significant for us. For families that have been fortunate enough not to struggle too much, this might seem overstated or dramatic. But it’s not. It’s amazing.

I have more to share about our experience thus far with attachment, how it’s such a two way street, how I’ll reach a point where I think I’m fully attached, but then a month later, realize that I wasn’t. (I’m entirely sure I couldn’t be any more attached to Mattix now, but I have no idea how I’ll feel next month!) How much Mattix has taught me about life, about myself. These past ten months truly have been the most incredible ten months of my entire life. I love my son so much.

We’re still here!

If anyone is still out there, we’re still here! Or have you given up on us?! We spent a week and a half in Washington, DC, along with my parents, and had a great time. Ed was there for work, but also took some time off to have fun. It really amazes me how much great stuff there is to do. It also amazes me how damn loud it is. When we came home, we sat in our backyard on the patio and just enjoyed the silence. DC is one loud city.  

I’ve mentioned it before, but I love being in a place where you can walk everywhere. There were days when we walked at least 15 miles. I loved it. (I still managed to pack on a pound or two. Imagine how bad it would have been without the walking!) My parents planned a vacation while we were there and it was really nice to spend time with family. I have a ton of great photos of Matty Bug that I’ll post in the next day or two. I’ve also said this before, but he is the best traveler under the sun. He loves to do new things and is so great at adapting to new time zones, missing naps, messed up meal times, etc. He’s so flexible with that stuff and I really appreciate it. He’s also in a really fun phase right now and I’m enjoying it immensely. Oh, and a super affectionate one, too. He melts my heart multiple times a day.

 I intended to keep up while on our vacation, but my computer would not cooperate with the hotel’s internet connection and so I was computer-less for a week and a half. DRAMA! I barely survived. I came home to 300+ posts in Google Reader, which I’ve been scanning furiously. Great news for so many people – Gina and Keith are FINALLY traveling in a few days, Carissa is in Korea with her babies, Cliff and Chandra got The Call…There might be more! I just started reading. Very, very exciting news and I’m so happy for my blog friends.

Jen started a fun little game, Four Things I Hate to Admit.  Jen has gone to the dark side and decided that their next family car will be a minivan. She hates to admit that. I’d hate to admit it, too! (You know I’m giving you crap, Jen.)   Did I just offend everyone who loves their minivan and everyone else who plans to buy one? Sorry. It’s a personal hangup. And trust me, as I told Jen, I have no cool factor left whatsoever, so it’s not that. I think it’s that my mom had a minivan when I was in junior high. Never got over it.

So, four things I hate to admit:

(1) I’ve turned into the mom I swore I’d NEVER become. I’ve packed on nearly 20 pounds since Mattix came home, most of it in the past five months. I’m tired and it shows, I don’t have the time or ability to get to the gym four times a week like I used to, I look semi-dumpy, wear half the makeup I used to wear (so not much), often sport an inch or two of white trash roots, and occasionally let the old ’stache get a bit out of control. I’m just a step away from schlepping around in my husband’s old clothes or something. Okay, so that’s a dirty lie because they probably wouldn’t fit, as I’m just a few pounds away from eclipsing his weight, but you know. (In my defense, I’m 5′7″. Ed’s a small guy and is only an inch taller than I am. But still. His pajama pants should be big on me, right?! Homer Simpson should not be stretched to the max across my ass. Really. It’s terrifying.) 

(2) I hate to admit that I have the entire “Careful” episode of Yo Gaba Gaba fully memorized. I don’t even need help. I can recite it beginning to end. It’s the ONE and ONLY show Mattix will watch. He also has it memorized. We both rap to Biz’s Beat of the Day, do our funny face, and rock out to Supernova’s song. There’s nothing sexier than three slightly-too-old-to-be-doing-this men, one of whom is slightly too heavy to be wearing shiny silver pleather, and all of whom are sporting shapes shaved into their hair. Mmm mmm. All I’m sayin’ is if I weren’t married… If you think you can handle it ladies, you can find their performance on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3tgQ__bNDk). I’m still too inept to embed video. Ed and I both find ourselves singing this song a little too often. It’s strangely catchy.

(3) I hate to admit that Ed and I consider it an awesome Friday night when we get to hang out, have a glass of wine, and watch our favorite shows that we DVR’d during the week. I hate to admit that I look forward to this.

(4) I hate to admit that today, Mattix dressed himself up in four of my bracelets that he helped himself to out of my jewelery armoire and one (clean) thong that he jacked from my suitcase that is half unpacked. I don’t hate to admit that he did it. I love that. I hate to admit that I thought it was so freaking hilarious that I let him walk around like that for an hour. Every time I looked at him, I lost it. I mean, my little guy, walking around with two armfuls of bracelets and a thong over his jeans. And he kept cracking himself up, too.

I’d love to know what Kerryanne, Melissa, Tracy (who has a rockin’ minivan!) and Karen (also proudly lovin’ her minivan) hate to admit.  

I’m reading all of my google posts, but I’m not even going to try to leave any comments. I’ll just read everything, then start commenting on the new ones. But I promise I’m reading and catching up on everything that’s going on. Pictures to follow…