A visit to assisted care…and other random photos

Today, my mom, Mattix, and I visited my grandma in her new home – an assisted living facility. She moved there while we were in DC. Unfortunately, I haven’t been to see her since we got back because either Mattix or I have had some sort of virus (mostly me) almost consistently since we came home. However, we’ve both been well for over a week now (yes!) so we went today. This is my dad’s mom and she’s 90 years old. She has Alzheimer’s, but she retains some of her long term memory. It seems to come and go. I expected to feel down and sad, but I was quite pleased to feel the opposite when we left. Even though she got a little teary eyed when we were ready to go and told us how lucky she was to have such a beautiful family, I know that she’s happy there so I felt happy, too.

The facility is SO nice. We arrived during “song” time – they had an entertainer in the recreation room singing all sorts of happy songs. The residents sing along and clap and move around in their seats. It’s actually quite sweet. Mattix liked the music a lot, but he was also quite popular amongst the older residents. Given his new stranger aversion, it got a little overwhelming for him, so we stayed for just under an hour. However, he did so well and I was so happy because the older people seemed to really love babies. One woman said the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. She asked if she could see him, meaning just say hi and touch his leg. She was probably 75 years old and was delighted when my mom walked him over near her seat. Then she said in the most honest, sincere tone, “Oh, he makes me want to have another one.”

Is that not the cutest thing you’ve ever heard? She meant it! The facility is a “memory care” center for people with varying degrees of memory loss. It is such a nice place. I know I said that, but it really is. They live in “pods” – each pod has six rooms, a common room, a kitchen, etc. and each resident has a room. Each pod has a health care worker assigned to it. They have a huge park like area in the center of all the pods, and a really nice community center. It’s gated in and all of the doors are opened and closed with access codes, so it is very secure (we’ve all heard about elderly people with memory problems who wander off and get lost, so this prevents that.) 

Anyway, given the way I’ve been feeling since Friday, which has been pretty darn crappy, it was nice to have such a good feeling today.  My grandma is genuinely happy there and even has a “best friend,” who I was introduced to no less than ten times. With her disease, she goes “in and out,” meaning she’ll remember something one minute, then forget the next. She asked me Mattix’s name at least seven or eight times. I think it’s sweet and we just go along with it as though it was the first time she asked. Her long term memory is much better and once she has her bearings, she remembers all of us who have been in her life for a long time. However, because Mattix is “new,” she forgets five minutes after she has asked about him. It was actually adorable because every time she would say, “Now who is this little guy?” and I would tell her it was my son that we just brought home from Vietnam, she would get tickled and super excited. And then she would lean over to her best friend who was sitting next to her and share the news with her. I believe her friend has similar short term memory issues because each time she hear the news, she would get very excited as well, then introduce herself to us as my grandma’s best friend.

Here is a photo of my mom, my Grandma, and Mattix. Mattix was enthralled with the man singing all of the songs, as many of them were children-type songs. The man who was singing was actually incredibly talented, both with his voice and his guitar. I have to say that I had fun! Mattix danced a lot, which really made a lot of the residents smile.

My aunt keeps a book in my grandma’s room where everyone who visits her leaves a note with the date of the visit, who came, and what they did. Because her short term memory is so poor, she’s able to read the book to “remember” who came to visit her. It’s quite nice and it makes her happy. My aunt also has a framed list of morning “instructions” so that my grandma remembers to put on her “eyebrows,” her makeup, and “fluff” her hair. She’s always been meticulous about her appearance and she was always concerned about that as she aged. Now, she is reminded every morning what she needs to do. It’s priceless.

It really amazes me how as people become quite elderly, they are so similar to children again. Sitting in the activity room today, I realized it would be nearly the same if Mattix and I were to attend a child’s music class. And then there’s all the help and the instructions. Interesting how life works.

Following are some totally unrelated photos. I realized it’s been a week since I posted any new ones! Most of these are from our time in St. Louis, but they’re cute.

 

{khai and mattix, doing it vietnamese scooter style! they must have paid attention while we were in Vietnam because they certainly know how it’s done.}

{here is mattix, showing off the adorable giraffe onesie we purchased from carissa’s etsy store}

 

{i love the look on his face here}

{i like this photo because you can really see how well his hair is beginning to grow in. he had so little hair when we first met him. it’s still on the sparse side, but it’s getting there!}

And finally, totally unimportant, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t proud of myself. Remember how I said I spent Saturday on a project? Well, my project was re-covering our dining room chairs! I’ve never done anything even remotely handy or crafty like this, so I was really proud of myself. My neighbor bought the same dining room set that Ed and I have recently because she liked it a lot. However, the chairs were freaking white! While that was all well and good when Ed and I bought the set a few years ago, little dirty hands and white do not mix well. Soooo, she and I picked out different fabric and recovered our chairs!

{before}

{after}

It’s difficult to see the true color in these photos, but the chairs are now covered in a mossy-green suede material. As luck would have it, I was able to match the color almost *exactly* to the color of our living room furniture, even though I forgot to bring a color sample. You wouldn’t even know they weren’t made to go with together. If you can’t tell, I’m extremelypleased with myself. I have NO crafty type talent or abilities. so I think I’m pretty cool right about now.   I can clean and organize like nobody’s business, but when it comes to handiwork or anything crafty, I’m embarrassingly inept. I had to use the scary electric staple gun, which caused me to jump three feet every time it went off, which was at least 20 times per chair (six chairs total). I think I needed some anti-anxiety medication by the time we finished. I’m also anal retentive and meticulous about things looking just so, but I was able to do this in an afternoon. See? I told you I’m feeling pretty impressed with myself.

That’s it for now. Like I said, I’ve had a really hard time since Friday. My mood has been affected drastically, which isn’t good because I can’t change anything, I can only accept and deal with the situation as it is. So, I’m working on that. Hopefully I’ll have something more interesting to say soon, but until then, I’ll have lots of Mattix pics!