Tears in Bloomingdale’s and my high chair sleeper!

So I have to tell you about the moment in Bloomingdale’s that meant so much to me. Mom and I had to go to the mall (HAD to, I tell you) because Ed and I are going to “prom” on Saturday. I’ll explain more later, but I’m quite excited! Anyway, I was trying to find shoes. Ugh. What a pain. Pre-baby and pre-my most recent knee surgery (a year and a half ago), you wouldn’t catch me in heels lower than three inches. I love heels. It doesn’t even bother me that when we’re both barefoot, Ed is only one inch taller than I am. Anyway, now that my knees are totally ruined and I also have an extra 20 pounds to tote around in the form of Mattix, heels cause me a lot of problems. (If you’re a size 8.5, stop by my closet for some shopping. I have soooo many fun shoes I rarely wear.)  I live dangerously every once in a while, but I’m not in the mood to ruin my knees for the rest of our time in DC because of all the walking we’re doing. Okay, so we were searching every store in the mall, trying desperately to find a pair of heels that were an inch and a half or two, yet still formal and not geriatric. You’d be surprised how difficult that is. We were in Bloomingdale’s and I found the *perfect* pair. Comfortable, pretty, slightly sexy, just right heel. And they were out of my size! They had one half size larger and one half size smaller, but not my size.

I was stomping around the shoe department in the wrong size, trying to decide if I could get by with them, when Mattix woke up from his “nap” in the stroller. Nap, you say, surprised! Why yes. He had fallen asleep in his stroller, after he’d gotten tons of quality sleep on Monday night. The stars were aligned and it was perfect! Fortunately, when he woke up, I was doing a pass by his stroller. His eyes popped open and I was standing right there. This was very opportune. When he nods off in his stroller, even though it usually only lasts 10 minutes, if someone he knows is not in his line of sight, he has a very hard time b/c he is disoriented. It’s sometimes hard to calm him down. So we were having a perfect day, he had slept for nearly an HOUR AND A HALF(!) and he woke up and looked right at me. He smiled and I unbuckled him and held him for a few minutes to give him a little love. He was snuggly and sweet. Once he was wide awake, I handed him to my mom so I could admit defeat and remove the too-small shoes. While I was putting my ever-so-sexy Uggs back on, Mattix looked right at me, slowly stretched his arms up towards me, and smiled. His smile was the sweetest ever, not his adorable goofy grin, not his toothy laughing smile. It was a warm, affectionate, loving smile. It was slight and sincere. He continued to hold his arms towards me, gently, clearly asking me to take him. I picked him up and he wrapped both arms around me (well, as far around as he could get them), buried his face in my shoulder, and held on tight. He sat there making “mmmmmm” sounds for a full few minutes. I couldn’t get over it. Mattix has been very affectionate the past month, but it’s usually  drive-by affection. A hug, a kiss, a love, but they’re to the point. Yesterday, he wanted to hold on. I stood there, holding him tight, and I started crying. This little 20 pound baby made me feel like the most important person on earth. I would have stood there for hours if he would have allowed it. My mom started crying, too. It was the most special moment. If you could have seen the look on his face, the way he made it clear what he wanted.

I held him tightly, thinking about how grateful I am for this child, for the progress, for the way he’s welcoming us into his heart. Bonding is a process and it’s not always easy, but it is an amazing one and the forward movement is becoming so clear. Just over two months ago, this baby wouldn’t let us hold him. At all. I couldn’t pick him up and hold him for more than ten seconds. He would scream, cry, kick, hit, squirm, arch his back. Nobody had ever held him for any length of time and he certainly didn’t want us doing it.  Now he not only wants to be held all the time, but he also wants to be hugged and loved. I’m starting to cry again!

Enough mush stuff! Want to know how pathetic I am in the cold? This is bad. I knew one of the things I wanted to do while I’m here is sit in on a Supreme Court case. I have a friend who could have gotten me a reserved seat, but my mom had not planned on staying this long, so I didn’t take the opportunity. For some reason, the stupid Court doesn’t want my bright one year old’s input. Whatever. Therefore, I couldn’t take the reserved seat b/c I didn’t have anyone to watch Mattix. 

Today, the Court was hearing Exxon Shipping Company, et al. v. Grant Baker, et al.. Remember the Exxon Valdez spill nearly two decades ago?  If you’re a dork like I am, you can find the question presented here.  I read the lower court decisions and was very interested to hear arguments. Because I didn’t know in advance that my mom would still be here and I missed out on the reserved seats, I got my butt up hours before the crack of dawn and called for a cab. It was SOOO cold today. In the low 20’s cold.

I should have taken a hint when, halfway to the Court, I dug through my purse to get out my wallet and realized it wasn’t there. I almost had a heart attack, then I almost cried. I had slept for three hours last night and was so tired I forgot my wallet on the table. I was trying to figure out how to pay the cab driver. I called and woke up my mom, near tears. The cab driver overheard me and suggested he drop me off and come back to our apartment and let my mom pay him. He was such a nice guy. I was so upset about forgetting my wallet, but I didn’t want to go home. He turned around and smiled and said, “I do same thing before. My luck too. No worry.” All he had me do was initial a slip of paper. That was it. It was a credit card receipt and he was trusting that he would get paid (round trip) based on my initials on a credit card slip. (I would have had my mom read me a CC number, but he had to have the actual CC to slide through the machine; he couldn’t input the numbers.)  He had no idea what my name was or where we are staying, other than I came out of a 15 story high rise apartment complex.

Anyway, he dropped me off and I took my place in line, which really wasn’t too far back, especially considering how apparent it was that people had SPENT the NIGHT there. WTF? Come on. Anyway, it appeared that there was a very decent chance that I would get a seat. The case was all over the news this “morning” (is it technically morning at that hour?). I was standing there, wrapped up like nobody’s business - leggings, a long wool skirt, two pairs of wool socks, tall boots, a cashmere sweater, a wool granny wrap sweater, a long wool coat, a cashmere scarf, cashmere lined leather gloves, and mink earmuffs. I couldn’t possibly have dressed any warmer. After thirty minutes, my teeth began to chatter and my toes started to burn. Another twenty minutes and my feet were fully on fire. I began having fantasies of lying across the stove or curling up in the oven. Seriously Fantasies.  I realized that I had HOURS to go. HOURS. As in, many hours.  Many, many hours before they were going to open the building.  The woman behind me had told me a few times that I looked really cold and “not too well.” She actually started a conversation with me by saying, “Where are you from?” When I told her, she responded, “That explains it.” I asked her what it explained, and she told me it explained why I looked like I was a frozen statue.

I lasted one hour and 10 minutes. All of the sudden, I took off at a full gallop down the street. The people in line around me must have thought I was mentally ill. I nearly knocked over a woman on her way out of a cab trying to get in. I begged him to turn the heat up, curled up in the corner, and held really still while I tried to warm up. I finally got home and had my mom meet me downstairs with Mattix and some money(!). I ran upstairs, turned the heat up to 80, and defrosted for an hour.

So I missed out on a really great USSC case I would have loved to have heard.  Sucks, right? And as much as I wish I could have heard the arguments, I STILL would come home and done the same thing over again. Wait, no, I wouldn’t have gone in the first place. I should have known when I realized my wallet was missing. That way I could have just come straight back. A few hours and $60 in cabs and I have nothing to show for it!

Mattix and my mom had lunch together while I curled up on the couch. My mom had a whole wheat bagel with cream cheese and Mattix had a whole wheat bagel, low fat string cheese, and a banana. 

 

The carb overload apparently got to Mattix, because for the first time in his life (okay, in his 2.5 months with us), he passed out in our plastic rental high chair. A few head bobs and he was out. It was hilarious.

Well, my mom must have had a few too many carbs, too, because I went to the kitchen for a minute, came back, and found this. She too passed out mid-bite.

Ha ha ha. I told you we can’t stop with the Mattix impressions.  Mattix lasted 40 minutes, then woke up with a red high chair mark across his cheek and a piece of half chewed bagel IN HIS MOUTH. What a crackup. I would have taken a photo, because he honestly looked funnier after he woke up than when he was asleep, but Ed came back for lunch and I was distracted.

Oh, and God forbid we have a day without a diaper blowout. Mattix took THREE poos this morning before 9:00 a.m. And serious ones, not wimpy little ones. I thought we were good for the day, but oh no, not my baby. We had just left the butterfly exhibit at the Museum of Natural History (way too cool – I love butterflies!) when I caught a whiff. Wow. Let me just give you TMI and say that last night, along with the best Pho ever, my mom picked up a VNese dessert that consisted of corn, coconut milk, and tapioca pudding. Key word: corn. Yeah. It was a full on two person job, esp. becase Mattix was a wiggle worm. I’ll spare you the blow by blow (no pun intended), but it ended with my mom and a piece of corn under. her. nail. You know what I have to say? It wasn’t my nail!!!!!!! We LOVE Grandma.

And finally, I’m going steal an idea from Carissa that I love. She decided to end every post with something for which she is grateful. I think that’s a wonderful idea, because I’m afraid I sound whiny and I’m not that way at all. I have so much to appreciate; I think of these things often, but don’t always communicate them. So I’m going to try to remember to post something for which I’m grateful regularly. Today, I am grateful for this opportunity. I’ve never been super flexible about picking up and traveling without much notice or being away from home for too long. I thrive very much in my regular “space” and my environment. I changed my attitude before we left for VN b/c I wanted to fully enjoy it. The attitude adjustment stuck! I’m grateful that although it’s not easy being away from home for over a month, we’re in a great place with a lot to do and we’re all together. I’m also grateful that my mom has stayed with us this long – she’s here for another whole week –  and that Mattix is enjoying her so much. Oh, and finally, because I’m feeling particularly appreciative, I’m very, very, very grateful that it wasn’t me with a piece of corn poo under my nail!!!!