HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY, MATTIX!!!

My baby is one today!!!! I can’t even believe it. Ed and I have known him for just over two months and he’s already one.  Crazy, really. Mattix celebrated rock start style by getting FOUR vaccines. He’s a trooper b/c you’d never know it. He just takes ‘em, cries for a minute, then is right back to his normal self.

Oh, and because he is forced to share this wonderful day with the world, happy Valentine’s Day to all of you mushy folks.

I know I posted a little recap of some of the photos we have from Mattix’s first ten months in our travel journal, but I’m doing it again!

 Referral photo – one or two weeks old

Four weeks

Six weeks

Two and a half months

3.5 months old

Four months, three weeks

Five and a half months

Almost seven months

Seven months, one week:

Eight months two weeks

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And then we finally met him on December 9, when he was just a few days shy of ten months old:

I can’t get over how much he has changed in the eight weeks we’ve known each other:

 

 

 

Mattix is an amazingly happy, good natured kid. He’s so stubborn it makes my head spin, but so am I, so we’re in good company. He’s unbelievably strong willed and determined, but so am I…  He’s smart, incredibly active, so affectionate it makes me cry, funny, and courageous.

I love him more than anything in the world. Ed and I both feel so blessed to have the honor of raising Mattix. I’m very mindful of what had to occur in his life in order for him to become a part of our family. However, I feel that I can respect that and celebrate our good fortune at the same time. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him.

On Tuesday, my mom, Mattix and I went to Babies R Us to pick up even more stuff for our trip to DC. (On a side note, are you kidding? I mean, come on. I was always freaked out at the amount of baby “stuff” that I anticipated taking over my house, but it just gets more and more ridiculous by the day. We now own three car seats and four strollers b/c I had to buy yet another car seat for the trip – no way am I lugging one of the 300 pound Britax seats across the country - and another stroller because the umbrella one we have is too small, the Britax is too heavy and bulky, and the other one just isn’t right. Stuff, stuff, stuff.) Anyway, one of the gals who works in the photo shop there came up to us and asked if they could take a few pictures of Mattix because they were training a new hire. Of course we had just eaten lunch and his clothes were literally caked with bananas and broccoli. He likes to feed himself much of the time now and for some reason, he just isnt’ very neat. Babies don’t seem to understand the value in not smearing food all over their clothing. So my mom and I went clothes shopping in Babies R Us, changed him, and took him over to the photo studio. THREE HOURS later (I kid you not), we had five cute shots. Five, people, five. Mattix is SO not into photo shoots. Damn it. All of my hopes and dreams of becoming a stage mom have been shot to hell. How are we going to star in our own pageant reality show now? Oh well. He wouldn’t have liked wearing a tiara anyway b/c having stuff on his head annoys him.

The new hire’s “practice” turned into me buying a HUGE package of photos and adoption announcements. Not at all what I had planned, as we’ve had a photographer from Celebrating Adoption picked out since MARCH 2007, just after we rec’d his referral. In fact, I think I called her around July to let her know we’d be home with him soon and I’d be in touch to schedule a time. Ha, ha, ha, once again. Anyway, since we came home right before Christmas, the timing just has not been right. We wanted to wait until Mattix felt settled in because for the entire first month, he would freeze up around new people. We knew that meant no-smile, deer-in-the-headlights photos. Plus, to be completely honest, I’ve never felt so dumpy and ugly as I have these past few months, and because we were planning on having family photos taken at the same time, I just wasn’t into it. Totally selfish and shallow, but at least I’m being honest.  I think we’ll save the family photos for our six month family anniversary or something. Maybe by then I’ll start to resemble a girl again, instead of the horrible dude-ish look I’ve acquired as of late.  I always swore up and down I wouldn’t let it all go to hell once we had kids, but I’ve been forced to eat a lot of my words recently, including others such as, “Is it that hard to keep your kid’s face clean? Who takes their kids out like that?” and “My kids will NEVER do (insert whatever verb here) in public.”

In light of all of that, plus the fact that we’re now not going to be in town as a family for at least six weeks, and probably three months, I’m really glad we did this. We really wanted to send out adoption announcements, and now we can! I told my mom she can hold Mattix on the plane ride to DC while I address the envelopes. They are SO cute. I’m far too inept to scan and upload it, and even if I knew how, I’m far too lazy right now, so I’ve taken a photo. Not too great for quality, but you get the idea:

 

I have to admit that as we were putting together the layout and wording for the adoption announcement, I started crying and couldn’t stop. Because I’m becoming accustomed to crying in public these days, it wasn’t nearly as traumatic as it would have been a few month ago, but still slightly embarrassing. As it turns out, the woman’s cousin, with whom she is very close, had recently adopted from Vietnam, so she was understanding of my emotional instability. In fact, she started to cry with me.  The phrase that I chose, “A baby fills a special place in your heart, You never knew was empty” rang very true with me and started up the waterworks. I’m usually not all emotionally touched by little sayings and phrases, but this one did it for me.  I honestly never felt like I was missing anything in my life before Mattix arrived. I’ve always felt very fulfilled and appreciative of what I had, but I had no idea I was missing out on something so amazing – being a mom – to someone so amazing – Mattix. So I guess I must have had an empty place in my heart before Mattix became my son.. I never knew it before, but I certainly know it now.

Here are the other photos…

This is my favorite b/c he’s actually smiling. Really smiling. Mattix SO does not smile “on command.”  He really does nothing on command at all, which makes it really great when he smiles or hugs or does something sweet, because it’s genuine. He was really cracking up. Ed thinks this one looks “girly,” but I think Ed must just be insecure with his own manhood, which is so not our problem. Or maybe Ed secretly wants to be photographed in a diaper, sitting in a piece of luggage, covered with silk roses, but again, not our problem.

This is definitely Mattix. While it looks like he was just hanging out all casual, he was actually in the middle of twisting around in yet another attempt to rip down the back drop. 

He was a little unsure of the ladder, which is why we actually have one of him standing against it. This was the first shot she took of him against the ladder. The subsequent 25 were of Mattix making a valiant attempt to climb the ladder. 

This was the first setup, actually. We tried to take it with Mattix standing in front of three blocks, but they kept getting pictures of the back of his head because he wanted to turn around and bang on them, so we took one away and sat him down.

And finally, this was my mom’s favorite. You don’t even know what it took to get this one. I would literally hold his arms down, they would act all stupid and crazy, trying to get him to smile, then I would pull my hands away at the last minute. I think he got up at lest 50 times (I’m not exaggerating) and most of the photos had my arms in them because I obviously wasn’t fast enough. This kid will not hold still!

It was fun, but really tiring! I wanted a drink by the end. Mattix pulled the backdrop curtain completely down at least five times and nearly fell off the little stage, which is about 2.5 feet tall, countless times. We all certainly laughed a lot. I’m sure it was amusing to watch us act like idiots trying to get him to smile. There were a few pictures with the stink eye, which I haven’t seen in quite some time. I loved them, but I’m not sure anybody else would appreciate the stink eye like I do, so I didn’t order those. I’m more into “natural” setting photos, not so much the staged ones, which is why I’m really looking forward to having a photographer come out to the house. However, I admit to loving these, just b/c they’re of my baby!

We celebrated Mattix’s birthday on Friday night because Ed isnt’ here today. In my ideal world, I would have had a huge first birthday party for Mattix. Party Planner Laura has been mentally planning that one since August. However, because Mattix still isn’t himself in large crowds of people, we didn’t want to overwhelm him. If we’d actually had a ”real” first birthday party for Mattix, there would have been at least 50 people here, most of whom would want to hold him, and that just wouldn’t have been fair to him. So, my parents, my brother, my best friend and her husband, and my neighbor (who is also a really close friend) all came over for the fun, and it WAS fun. Ed made Pho and Lemon Grass chicken for dinner and it was sooo good. Mattix loves pho and he showed off his noodle trick, even though he doesnt’ realize it’s a trick, that makes everyone laugh until they choke. He sucks noodles into his mouth in the most hilarious way possible. He also opened presents and was much more interested in them than he was at Christmas.

The best part was obviously the cake. No surprise that the little man LOVES cake. We gave him a decent sized piece. Once he took a bite and realized he liked it, he went to town. However, he had eaten a ton of pho noodles and rice, so he wasn’t very hungry. He ate about a third of the piece of cake, then just sat there, all slumped over and exhausted. When I went to take him out of the high chair, he flipped out. He did NOT want to come out. So he sat there until he was apparently a little hungry again and then ate some more cake. He proceeded to do that for an hour – eat a little cake, take a ten minute break, eat a little cake, etc., until the entire piece was gone. Now that’s my boy! I didn’t even have to teach him that one. All natural. We had stripped him down to his diaper, and at the end of it all, he was covered in cake and frosting. It was even IN his little ears. He took a nice sink bath and passed out from the fun.

 

Today was a LONG day. Seriously long. The highlight for me happened when I left the vet’s office, after being at Mattix’s pediatrician with him for nearly three hours. I had picked up the dogs from the house and Mattix and I took them in for their shots. Because they were due next week, I wanted to have it taken care of before we left. Apparently I was the only one not to get lots of vaccines today! I’m not very great at juggling tons of stuff with a baby yet, so having Mattix in the stroller, spastic Slinky ALL over the place (literally hopping over my feet, jumping into Mattix’s lap, wrapping her leash around me, etc.), and my faithful little Gidget, who actually stayed by my side, wasn’t easy. So we made it through our appointment and came back out to the car and I hit the clicker. Except the car didn’t unlock. I hit it over and over and over. All the while Mattix was getting annoyed at the holdup and Slinky was freaking out. I kept pushing the button, pushing the button, and nothing was happening. And even though I ABSOLUTELY KNEW not to put the key in the lock and open it manually b/c that sets of the alarm, what did I do? Yeah, I put the key in the lock and opened it manually. Right before I did it, I actually thought to myself, “The alarm is going to go off if you do this…”;  That thing is so loud. I actually knew it was coming and it still made me jump a foot. Slinky started making this horrible high pitched whine, Gidget started barking, and Mattix started laughing. Apparently, my stupidity amuses him. And I knew, I KNEW, that the car wouldn’t start b/c there’s a kill switch that’s activated when the door is opened without disarming the alarm, but I tried to start it anyway. No surprise that it wouldn’t start. I thought I was going to throw up. It was a long day and I had a lot left to do.  I was standing in the parking lot of the vet’s office with a kid and two dogs and I wasn’t sure whether I was going to curl up in the fetal position, cry, or laugh hysterically. I called my mom and asked her to come get us. So 20 minutes later my mom showed up. At the same time, my dad called my cell phone b/c he’d talked to my mom. He told me to turn around, so I did, and I was staring right at a Checker Auto. He told me to go across the street and ask someone there to see if they could replace the battery in the clicker. Uh, yeah, ya think? How stupid have I become? Being a mommy is clearly directly correlated with the decline in my intelligence.  My mom showed up and took the dogs and Mattix and I ran across the street, where a nice employee replaced the battery for me. I anxiously started hitting buttons, praying for the indicator light would come on, which it did.

Moral of the story: I’m an idiot. The rest of my day was sort of the same; this sort of stuff always happens to me when I’m out of time and leaving town. Hey, at least I didn’t have to have the car towed to the dealership the night before I left, which is exactly what I thought was going to happen. Better to be stupid than SOL, huh? In my defense, because Mattix is back to his old sleeping patterns, and because I’m on my own, I’ve been lucky to get three hours of sleep a night. Honestly. Last night I would have actually gotten a little sleep b/c he was quiet from 8 until midnight, but I was up until 2:00 a.m. trying to pack. Since Ed left, I haven’t really been able to be out of Mattix’s sight and for the most part, I can’t even set him down. He’s going through some serious separation anxiety right now. Therefore, I have to get stuff done at night. However, I’m not trying to make excuses; I’m still pretty slow these days.

Well, tomorrow Mattix, my mom, and I are all off to DC to join Ed. I still have some packing to do, but everything else here is good to go – our house sitter is arriving in the morning and my appointments are cancelled. It seems like I have way too much luggage, but kids need a lot of stuff! I’m not even taking half of the things we’ll need for the time there b/c we’re going to buy them once we arrive, but I STILL have all of this stupid luggage! I’m very relieved and excited that my mom is traveling to DC with us. I’ll have to brave the trip home alone, but this takes away a lot of the anxiety I was feeling. Plus, we’re going to have fun!

I’ll post again this weekend, where I assure you I’m going to whine incessantly about the cold. I try not to complain much; I make sarcastic comments and jokes, but I don’t consider myself a big whiner. However, feezing cold is one of those things that weakens my resolve!! I’m NOT a cold weather type of girl. Have a great weekend!